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    If You’re Reading This Review, Then I May Already Have Been Assassinated

    posted @ 8/12/2007 09:44:00 AM by Douceswild
    Ninja, stealth, bloodshed all wrapped up into a video game. What more could you ask for? How about for that game to actually be good? That brings us to my review of Tenchu Z for the Xbox 360. Anyone got a smoke bomb? I may need one after this.

    Before playing this game, I made sure to stay away from any reviews so I wouldn’t jump in with any good or bad expectations. So I load the game up and I’m getting ready for some ninja goodness. After tweaking my ninja’s gender, face, and clothing, I began the tutorial which was kind of clunky. The controls are awkward and the combat is horrible, but this isn’t a combat game. It’s more about stealth so I kept on playing because when I did manage to sneak up on an unsuspecting foe, the stealth kills were pretty sweet.

    Ok. We’ve got nice stealth kills but crappy combat. That brings us to the enemy AI. I’m sorry folks, but that’s another negative. It’s terrible. It’s extremely terrible. If I’m spotted while trying to sneak my way up to an enemy and choose to retreat instead of going through the painful combat system, then all I have to do is run a few yards and the AI forgets about me and goes back to his post. C’mon!! If I’m breaking into Lord Nobunaga’s fortress to assassinate him and I get discovered then all I have to do is run around the corner and they’ll forget I was ever there?? That’s just a hypothetical scenario, but still, C’MON!!

    The story was pretty lame as well. Wait. What am I thinking? The storyline was almost nonexistent. Once you finish the tutorial then you pretty much just start getting missions from “Ninja City”. Trust me when I tell you there’s not much interesting going on plot-wise. I’m just finding it hard to enjoy a game that I can almost stealth my way through every level.

    The online/multiplayer part of the game is loads of fun. Co-op story made the game a bit easier to swallow. Having partners to sneak around the vast compounds and working together to complete the objectives was intense. It took the monotony out of the game and turned it into a full-out shinobi raid with loads of bloodshed. That’s ALWAYS a plus in my book.

    I do have to say that the graphics are pretty sweet. The environments are stunning and sometimes I just find myself exploring more than anything else. The different outfits you unlock are nice as well. If only I could unlock that Naruto costume then I’d be set. BELIEVE IT! I’m just kidding…but not really. You start with a handful of basic assassin’s garments that are great for the ninja looking for a little “bloodwork”, but are able to unlock a crap-load of other outfits that are just killer…pun definitely intended.

    I really did give this game a fair shot, but there’s not that much depth to it. Tenchu Z pretty much revolves around two forms of gameplay. The first is sneak, kill, sneak, kill, complete mission and the second is sneak, sneak, sneak, complete mission. I’ll leave it to you to choose your own adventure. If you’re a fan of the entire Tenchu series, then you’ll probably love this one as well. As for me, it was great on the original Playstation, but after over a decade and a $350 increase in system cost, I really should not be playing the same exact game. No offense to any ninja out there, but Tenchu Z is a pass.

    OK…Who threw the shuriken at me?...


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    What Does An Invisible Ninja Look Like?

    posted @ 4/05/2007 08:50:00 PM by Ninjasistah
    It's been awhile, but I don't feel like there has been enough discussion about ninja on this site in a while and I 'recon to rectify that.

    Got the heads up with some screens for the forthcoming XB360 game Tenchu Z and I figured I'd share what I know about the game and what I don't.

    I could tell you about the new killing system, how you can now kill people from above and below not just head on, or how putting your weapon in it's sheath can aid you in committing some heinous kills. Given provocation I very well could spend a large chunk of this article on the graphics in the game, speak on the improvements over the last game... hell, I could [if my mind even focused on it] attempt to delve deeply into the custom ninja creation aspect of the game. Truly, there are all kinds of things I could share with you my awesome reader. But all you really need to know about Tenchu Z is: ONLINE CO-OP NINJA ASSASSINATION MAYHEM BITCHES!

    Yes, you can have up to four folks get down with you if you system link your machines together or you can put together a clan of up to four over the XBLive. Yes, you too can pretend to live the life of a shinobi, set up camp, devise plans of attack as far as how to go about killing the shit out of your targets [with honor, of course] and then commencing to open a can of Whoop de Ass like never before.

    I mean, you can be invisible man! Do you know how big of a deal it is to have the ability to actually be invisible as a ninja, not just move as if invisible? Do you have any idea how easy this ninja job would be if I never had to even think about my mark being able to see me? Man oh man, let's just hope this Tenchu game does suck like the last one.

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