The Boys of Ouran High School Host Club

The basic plot of Ouran High School Host Club is that Haruhi a studious girl from a middle class family has received a scholarship to Ouran Academy, a high school playground for the rich and bored. One day she wanders into the 3rd music room looking for a quiet place to study, accidentally breaks an expensive vase and becomes a member of the Ouran Host Club by way of indentured servitude. That's not what I want to talk about. Host Club is a harem anime and the gaggle of men make my heart go Doki-Doki.(Japanese sound effect for heartbeats) This post is all about them!

The Host Club consists of disgustingly rich and influential rich-boys with too much time on their hands. Meet the Boys:

Tamaki Suou: The President of the Host Club, he drives all of the ideas to try commoner's food, commoner's games and commoner's lifestyle. He is an airheaded drama queen who overreacts to everything and is completely gullible, falling for any sob story he hears. Tamaki is one of the last remaining true romantics, he possesses an unnatural ability to always remain positive and upbeat, even if it means disregarding reality. He does however have a bit of a bipolar disorder that throws him deep into a depression if he is emotionally hurt, fortunately he always bounces back quickly.

I am a calm, collected pacifist and Tamaki fills me with the intense and totally irrational desire to kill a puppy. I HATE people like this, I just want them to curl up and die. I am the type of person who doesn't like dealing with morons and the overly emotional. I have no problem consoling a friend, acquaintance or random person off the street, so long as they have a good reason to be bawling their eyes out or for looking like someone shot their best friend. If I can't understand why they're sad I get all freaked out and I don't know what to do. If I ever met someone who had Tamaki's personality to the same extreme degree I would probably transform into the worlds biggest bitch and beat the crap out of them verbally and maybe even physically. The only time I have ever been violent with anyone was because a girl just like Tamaki decided she was my best friend and she started following me around EVERYWHERE. Everyone has at least one thing they cannot under any circumstances deal with, well this one's mine.

Mitsukuni "Hunny" Haninozuka: Honey is the loli-shota character. He is short, cute, addicted to sweets and carries around his stuffed bunny, Bun-Bun. He talks in a high pitched voice and acts like a child, despite the fact that he is the oldest one in the club. Takashi is a permanent fixture at Hunny's side and Hunny can always be found climbing on Takashi as if he were a personal jungle-gym, hugging Takashi or riding on Takashi's shoulders.

Hunny has almost the same effect on me that Tamaki does. When I see cute, childish little Hunny, I revert to "preschool bully" Magic and I want so badly to torture him and make him cry. I want to pinch him, I want to steal his sweets, I want to hide Bun-Bun... Writing this I feel like a very evil person, but luckily I put these in order from the characters I hate most to the characters I like most, so I'm less evil as I go on.

Kyouya Ohtori: Now that the loudest and most obnoxious characters are out of the way you'll please notice the guy lurking in the background, scribbling in his notebook. Kyouya is the shadow king of the host club, he manipulates the airheaded Tamaki into decisions, and turns a profit on the club by selling pictures and merchandise of the hosts. Nothing happens without Kyouya knowing and he never does anything that doesn't benefit him in at least some small way. Kyouya is the one who threatened Haruhi into staying with the club to pay her debt. Although his skill at masking his true personality is top notch, he is occasionally revealed as the machinating, slimy and emotionless bastard he is. If you look carefully there are occasional hints in the anime that there is another layer under "Scum-bag" Kyouya that reveals that he is actually a fairly nice guy, but you have to dig really really hard to find it.

Even just thinking about him to write this, I can feel my hair becoming limp and oily, my skin crawls and itches and I'm shifting uncomfortably in my chair. I wish I could peel my skin off and husk into a new body. I really really wouldn't like Kyouya if I met him. He scares me, creeps me out and pisses me off all at the same time, I think if I ever met him I would mostly feel the intense need to be elsewhere. All the guys have impressive connections but Kyouya is the only one who threatens to use his. He mentions a private army at one point and he is somehow able to keep up to date and extensive bios on everyone, complete to the last detail. No secret is safe with this guy, and he won't hesitate to use your secrets against you. I don't care how nice he is underneath, you can't wear a mask of pure evil all day without it seeping into your true personality.

Hikaru/Kaoru Hitachiin: The twins are the tricksters of the host club. They are never serious about anything and they view anyone they encounter as their toy. Watching them with Haruhi is like watching two cats with a mouse. Before the host club they had no friends but each other and they tend to define the world as "Us" and "Those who are not us." Under the trickery and fun they feel some measure of disdain for "Those who are not us" and thus they play the Which one is Hikaru? game where they ask people to distinguish between them. The twins feel that as a unit they are better than anyone else and they ridicule those who cannot guess correctly, but they desperately want someone to come along and see them as individuals.

If they were together, these two would make me cry. I have a scathing sarcastic wit that I picked up from my friends and I can take it as much as I can dish it out, but these two take it to extremes. Having them ganging up together against me would be awfully intimidating, and that's the way they like it. Being outside that frigid, icy wall wouldn't be any fun, but if they let me in and let me get to know them individually it would be a different story. Hikaru is a bit meaner, and much more childish but in his good moment's he can be caring and warm. Kaoru is infinitely more sensitive than his brother and he resorts to childish behaviours only when teamed up with Hikaru against someone. I could easily see myself falling for Kaoru if Hikaru wasn't around.

Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka: The most taciturn and stoic member of the Host Club. Watching the series, I sometimes wondered what Mori was thinking, standing there in the background watching over the antics of the club. I've got myself convinced it was some Freudian analysis of the rampaging personalities of the club members. Mori is the tallest and strongest of the Hosts, and his age is only exceeded by Hunny (They're both seniors.) Mori always acts on his instincts, coming to the rescue of his friends, specifically Hunny. For generations Mori's family has acted as bodyguards for Hunny's family, and despite the tradition being defunct, Mori still looks out for Hunny with great dedication.

Out of all the hosts, I love Mori the most. I really don't know how the animators managed it, but even with his monosyllabic conversations I can see that he is a deeply sentimental and emotional person. Who doesn't dream of a big strong man sweeping them off their feet. By big I mean 6'4", other than Kyouya and Tamaki he is the only club member taller than me, the twins are my height and Hunny is only 4'10". I couldn't tell you what about Mori draws me, I've always said that I like guys who can keep up with me in a conversation, but whenever I watch the anime and he shows up I get a huge smile plastered on my face and I ::SIGH:: lovingly. Eh, who said love was rational.

So, it seems no matter who I choose I have an obstacle in my way (Hikaru/Hunny.) I would love to hear what other people think of the guys even if they like TA-MA-KI ::Said through gritted teeth:: or Kyouya ::ICK::

If you haven't seen it I give Ouran High School Host Club a 5/5. Normally I dislike harem anime, but this series is funny and touching and all around Fab-Tab-ulous. Within the series there is a theme of roses and each character has their own color, so I'll use those colors for the MMs. Dark Blue for Mori, Light Blue for Kaoru, Orange for Hikaru, Purple for Kyouya, Pink for Hunny and White for Tamaki. Because the twins like being a single unit they each get half an MM. If you're wondering why no one gets the red MM/rose it's because Haruhi gets it, being the main character and all. The pictures in this post are all the characters with their rose colors, except for Tamaki. Let me explain: Tamaki is always manhandling Haruhi, whose rose color is red, so it's appropriate that Tamaki is also always manhandling the roses that symbolize Haruhi.