Once upon a time, I was a public relations director. The first thing you learn as a PR director is that when the boss wants his comments in a press release, you put his comments in a press release. Of course, the stupidest-sounding thing in a press release is the boss' comments. Here are some examples from press releases we've recently received:
"The game’s vibrant design, challenging nature and action element give it universal appeal. Players will find it completely compelling as they go back to the roots of what LEGO play is all about and build to their heart’s content." -- Electronic Arts Mobile Producer James Dillon, talking about LEGO Escape, which has just been released in Europe.
Get over it, James. It's just another Tetris ripoff.
"We believe that the future of digitally-distributed games promises to be more diverse than ever in respect to the scale and genre of development and with respect to the business models." -- James Brooksby of new British gamemaker Doublesix, a company that purports to focus on addictive gameplay.
If you've got to explain how your company adheres to business models, you don't know much about addiction.
"Poker is a game that everyone should be able to enjoy whenever and wherever they are, so launching a mobile game is a dream come true. I hope that poker players everywhere will be able to share my passion, get more from their experience of poker from my hot tips on the poker mobile video, as well as improve their game on the poker mobile game." -- Daniel Negreanu, all-time leading money earner on the WPT, who is promoting Negreanu Poker Pro, a mobile poker game.
Daniel's lying (er, uh, bluffing?) here. Nobody plays poker because it's such a great, fun game. Chess is all about brains, Risk is all about war and poker, my friends, is all about money.
"There’s a natural affinity between music and gaming which We7 allows us to explore in a unique and effective way using a mix of traditional display ads alongside the new audio grafting techniques. We'll primarily use this campaign to target our key demographic -- 16-25 year old males -- but as We7 has a varied user base we plan to broaden our focus to a wider family audience too." -- Stephen McGill, head of Gaming and Entertainment, Microsoft UK, commenting about his company's involvement with a new ad-funded free music download service called We7, which will be used to promote the Xbox 360 in Britain this Christmas.
McGill mentions "audio grafting techniques." Exactly who's being "grafted" here?
"The competition in the gaming industry is getting stiff. But with our experienced team of game professionals and quickly expanding distribution network we will continue to provide our audience with new outstanding games and work with even more passion and dedication. Here at Playrix Entertainment we are happy to offer you the perfect mix of talent and creativity, fun and technology." -- Dmitri Bukhman, CEO and founder of Playrix, formerly Terminal Studio, makers of "a few famous titles:" Atlantis Quest, The Rise of Atlantis and Brickshooter Egypt.
Whoooooo! Sounds real fun!
"The game’s vibrant design, challenging nature and action element give it universal appeal. Players will find it completely compelling as they go back to the roots of what LEGO play is all about and build to their heart’s content." -- Electronic Arts Mobile Producer James Dillon, talking about LEGO Escape, which has just been released in Europe.Get over it, James. It's just another Tetris ripoff.
"We believe that the future of digitally-distributed games promises to be more diverse than ever in respect to the scale and genre of development and with respect to the business models." -- James Brooksby of new British gamemaker Doublesix, a company that purports to focus on addictive gameplay.
If you've got to explain how your company adheres to business models, you don't know much about addiction.
"Poker is a game that everyone should be able to enjoy whenever and wherever they are, so launching a mobile game is a dream come true. I hope that poker players everywhere will be able to share my passion, get more from their experience of poker from my hot tips on the poker mobile video, as well as improve their game on the poker mobile game." -- Daniel Negreanu, all-time leading money earner on the WPT, who is promoting Negreanu Poker Pro, a mobile poker game.
Daniel's lying (er, uh, bluffing?) here. Nobody plays poker because it's such a great, fun game. Chess is all about brains, Risk is all about war and poker, my friends, is all about money.
"There’s a natural affinity between music and gaming which We7 allows us to explore in a unique and effective way using a mix of traditional display ads alongside the new audio grafting techniques. We'll primarily use this campaign to target our key demographic -- 16-25 year old males -- but as We7 has a varied user base we plan to broaden our focus to a wider family audience too." -- Stephen McGill, head of Gaming and Entertainment, Microsoft UK, commenting about his company's involvement with a new ad-funded free music download service called We7, which will be used to promote the Xbox 360 in Britain this Christmas.
McGill mentions "audio grafting techniques." Exactly who's being "grafted" here?
"The competition in the gaming industry is getting stiff. But with our experienced team of game professionals and quickly expanding distribution network we will continue to provide our audience with new outstanding games and work with even more passion and dedication. Here at Playrix Entertainment we are happy to offer you the perfect mix of talent and creativity, fun and technology." -- Dmitri Bukhman, CEO and founder of Playrix, formerly Terminal Studio, makers of "a few famous titles:" Atlantis Quest, The Rise of Atlantis and Brickshooter Egypt.
Whoooooo! Sounds real fun!
Labels: evermore, Videogames, XBox-360
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