While the tabloids are having a field day about the recent travails of actress Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana), a renowned scientist has revealed that Miss Cyrus is suffering from a rare, misunderstood malady.The condition Cyrus suffers from is called Diladexsilo (pronounced duh-lad-EX-suh-low), which comes from the Latin phrase dilectoris ad existere similis lohanum, and is generally acknowledged to be mediated by T cell responses to proteins contained in clothing which differ from those found in the human wearing the clothing. Unlike antibody-mediated hyperacute rejection found in organ transplant patients, development of T-cell responses occurs when the patient is in the presence of camera equipment. Acute rejection episodes can destroy the reputation of the patient, as recorded in the scholarly pages of People Magazine and TMZ.com, if it is not recognized and treated appropriately.
Mr. P. Body, chief scientist of the Kansas-Longfellow Maternal and Natal Organization (KLMNO) and a well-known expert on Diladexsilo, said, "It is obvious in examining Miss Cyrus' condition that her body is literally rejecting her clothing when in the presence of camera equipment. From the photos I have examined very closely, it is evident that Miss Cyrus' condition is very acute indeed."
Mr. P. Body's boy Sherman offered a solution. "Gee, Mr. P. Body, couldn't she just use staples to help hold her clothes together?" Sherman inquired. Although Sherman's questions are normally answered with a witty pun, under the grave situation of Cyrus' fate, the question went unanswered.
It is unknown what kind of treatment Cyrus might be getting to cope with her illness, although it is all but certain that management at her employer, the Walt Disney Company, will most assuredly try to keep her away from unsupervised users of camera equipment in the near future.
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