I try not to take up "girl gamer issues" while writing for the site, but I've been asked this question so often that broke down and put this together.
Most of my guy friends are gamers, and ask me how they can convert their girlfriend into a gamer. It has always been my belief that all girls are gamers, it's just finding the right game for the right girl. At the same time, I get asked in conversation by my girl gamer friends how they should break it to the guy they are dating/boyfriend that they are a gamer. I am not "Dear Abbey" or [belch] "Dr. Laura" but I offer this as help.
No. 5: Accessory Love
Wear some game related article of clothing or jewelry accessory. Some 1up mushroom earrings, or a t-shirt featuring some well known game character that you like When he notices it, he'll probably mention how cool your earrings/shirt/whatever is and why he thinks it's cool. This is your opening to share your knowledge of games and start the "I've been playing video games since..." conversation.
No. 4: Technology To The Rescue
It might seem simple but let your tech speak for you if you [for whatever reason] don't know how or when to start this conversation. Got a computer? Set your desktop wallpaper background to one from a video game you love playing. There are plenty of game wallpaper resources out there. You can visit the official websites of video games and check out their downloads or media sections for wallpapers, Google image searches, they all work. Or, you can change your ringtone to some well known tune from a video game. Many cell phones today can play MP3's as ringtones, so get you a transfer cable [if neither your computer nor phone have Bluetooth] and slap one of these tunes on your phone. I find it's a definite attention getter, and you'd be amazed how many other gamers you'll "out" using this technique. In any case, either of these things will help get the "I enjoy video games" idea passed on to your man.
No. 3: Magazine Oppsies
Now I have one friend that was terrified that the guy she had been seeing for a couple of months was going to ditch her when he found out she was a gamer. I don't know why but she was absolutely positive he was going to think she was some kind of masculine chick hiding in a petite girl body. I know, it's stupid, but as she went on and on about how she was hiding her game systems before he came over, I realized it was a serious fear in her mind, so I had to help. I told her instead hiding all of her OPM and Computer Gaming magazines, leave a couple out on the coffee table. When the boyfriend comes over, let him in and offer him a seat on the couch by the mags, then excuse yourself to the bathroom to finish getting ready and leave him there with nothing but the gaming mags to keep him entertained while you are away. When asks when you got into gaming [because he's never seen this stuff before] just be honest. Say you've been into gaming for a while and why, and then just say that you put all that stuff away because you didn't want him to think you were weird. I'll all but guaranty that 10 times out of 10 he'll be excited and cool about it.
No. 2: Don't Hide Your Systems.
The same friend from suggestion number 3 was also hiding her game systems every time the dude came over to pick her up. I told her she needed to stop that shit... pulling all those cables out and putting them back a few times a week had to have been a huge PITA. Leave them out. Duh, he'll get the clue. [I told you he would Jenn ;)]
And finally, No. 1: Just Tell Him You're A Gamer.
I know it seems over simplistic, but admitting that you are a gamer is not like owning up to a case of herpes... no one's going to start running for the hills because you like Halo2, and if they do they're an asshole plain and simple. Being a girl an enjoying video games doesn't make you any less feminine, attractive, smart, or anything. It's nothing to be ashamed of, or hide. I'm really tired of having to play 20 questions with women that I meet to find out if they are a gamer. Most of the ones I ask directly if they like video games go all the way round the bush, "Oh, I guess they are ok... I don't really have time to play them... My brother has a system and makes me play with him." But once I get to know them, find out that they are as into gaming as I am and I get a little pissed. I think about all the time we missed out on playing together, sharing game tips, raggin' on Sony and their fanboys, and all because of some stupid presumed stigma of being a girl gamer. Get over it already. A lot of other girl gamers have. There are more and more girl gamer clans out there that actually have some hard core gamers in their clan... if they can be proud to be gamers that happen to be girls, so should you.
As I said, I usually stay away from this kind of topic because I hate being in a position to enable these kinds of feelings in other girl gamers. That being said, I'm also getting tired of the look of astonishment on guy gamers when I tell them I'm a gamer. First I get the look, then I get the "you probably play stuff like Nintendogs and The Sims [which I do] but I also play God of War, Devil May Cry, Amplitude, BloodRayne, Dynasty Warriors, and Zone of The Enders. After that list, the next thing that happens is I get a little respect out of them, and then they want to know how to get their girlfriend into gaming. I say ask your girlfriend if she likes video games. Whenever you are dating with people, especially if you are just starting out, you have that conversation where you talk about all the stuff you like and don't and crap. Bring this up then. "I dig playing video games with people, how about you?" It's short, sweet, and to the point. Here's the hard part: listen closely to the answer. If you get the, "My brother makes me play with him, I think they are cool, but I don't really play all that often" lines just follow up with a, "Would you like to play with me sometime?" Put the ball in her court and don't push. Let her decided if this is an activity that she wants to share with you or not. If she says sure, ask her what kind of game she likes or thinks she would like, don't just make her play something that you have because you're the bomb at it. [She'll think your a controlling douchebag]
And that's that. I've done my good deed for the day in trying to help folks out on both sides of this thing, so no more complaining.
Date, play, and be merry!
Most of my guy friends are gamers, and ask me how they can convert their girlfriend into a gamer. It has always been my belief that all girls are gamers, it's just finding the right game for the right girl. At the same time, I get asked in conversation by my girl gamer friends how they should break it to the guy they are dating/boyfriend that they are a gamer. I am not "Dear Abbey" or [belch] "Dr. Laura" but I offer this as help.No. 5: Accessory Love
Wear some game related article of clothing or jewelry accessory. Some 1up mushroom earrings, or a t-shirt featuring some well known game character that you like When he notices it, he'll probably mention how cool your earrings/shirt/whatever is and why he thinks it's cool. This is your opening to share your knowledge of games and start the "I've been playing video games since..." conversation.
No. 4: Technology To The Rescue
It might seem simple but let your tech speak for you if you [for whatever reason] don't know how or when to start this conversation. Got a computer? Set your desktop wallpaper background to one from a video game you love playing. There are plenty of game wallpaper resources out there. You can visit the official websites of video games and check out their downloads or media sections for wallpapers, Google image searches, they all work. Or, you can change your ringtone to some well known tune from a video game. Many cell phones today can play MP3's as ringtones, so get you a transfer cable [if neither your computer nor phone have Bluetooth] and slap one of these tunes on your phone. I find it's a definite attention getter, and you'd be amazed how many other gamers you'll "out" using this technique. In any case, either of these things will help get the "I enjoy video games" idea passed on to your man.
No. 3: Magazine Oppsies
Now I have one friend that was terrified that the guy she had been seeing for a couple of months was going to ditch her when he found out she was a gamer. I don't know why but she was absolutely positive he was going to think she was some kind of masculine chick hiding in a petite girl body. I know, it's stupid, but as she went on and on about how she was hiding her game systems before he came over, I realized it was a serious fear in her mind, so I had to help. I told her instead hiding all of her OPM and Computer Gaming magazines, leave a couple out on the coffee table. When the boyfriend comes over, let him in and offer him a seat on the couch by the mags, then excuse yourself to the bathroom to finish getting ready and leave him there with nothing but the gaming mags to keep him entertained while you are away. When asks when you got into gaming [because he's never seen this stuff before] just be honest. Say you've been into gaming for a while and why, and then just say that you put all that stuff away because you didn't want him to think you were weird. I'll all but guaranty that 10 times out of 10 he'll be excited and cool about it. No. 2: Don't Hide Your Systems.
The same friend from suggestion number 3 was also hiding her game systems every time the dude came over to pick her up. I told her she needed to stop that shit... pulling all those cables out and putting them back a few times a week had to have been a huge PITA. Leave them out. Duh, he'll get the clue. [I told you he would Jenn ;)]
And finally, No. 1: Just Tell Him You're A Gamer.
I know it seems over simplistic, but admitting that you are a gamer is not like owning up to a case of herpes... no one's going to start running for the hills because you like Halo2, and if they do they're an asshole plain and simple. Being a girl an enjoying video games doesn't make you any less feminine, attractive, smart, or anything. It's nothing to be ashamed of, or hide. I'm really tired of having to play 20 questions with women that I meet to find out if they are a gamer. Most of the ones I ask directly if they like video games go all the way round the bush, "Oh, I guess they are ok... I don't really have time to play them... My brother has a system and makes me play with him." But once I get to know them, find out that they are as into gaming as I am and I get a little pissed. I think about all the time we missed out on playing together, sharing game tips, raggin' on Sony and their fanboys, and all because of some stupid presumed stigma of being a girl gamer. Get over it already. A lot of other girl gamers have. There are more and more girl gamer clans out there that actually have some hard core gamers in their clan... if they can be proud to be gamers that happen to be girls, so should you.
As I said, I usually stay away from this kind of topic because I hate being in a position to enable these kinds of feelings in other girl gamers. That being said, I'm also getting tired of the look of astonishment on guy gamers when I tell them I'm a gamer. First I get the look, then I get the "you probably play stuff like Nintendogs and The Sims [which I do] but I also play God of War, Devil May Cry, Amplitude, BloodRayne, Dynasty Warriors, and Zone of The Enders. After that list, the next thing that happens is I get a little respect out of them, and then they want to know how to get their girlfriend into gaming. I say ask your girlfriend if she likes video games. Whenever you are dating with people, especially if you are just starting out, you have that conversation where you talk about all the stuff you like and don't and crap. Bring this up then. "I dig playing video games with people, how about you?" It's short, sweet, and to the point. Here's the hard part: listen closely to the answer. If you get the, "My brother makes me play with him, I think they are cool, but I don't really play all that often" lines just follow up with a, "Would you like to play with me sometime?" Put the ball in her court and don't push. Let her decided if this is an activity that she wants to share with you or not. If she says sure, ask her what kind of game she likes or thinks she would like, don't just make her play something that you have because you're the bomb at it. [She'll think your a controlling douchebag]
And that's that. I've done my good deed for the day in trying to help folks out on both sides of this thing, so no more complaining.
Date, play, and be merry!
Labels: Blood, Cell-Phone, Devil-May-Cry, Games, God-of-War, magazine, Ninjasistah, Sony, Tech, Videogames, wallpaper
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