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    King Baby Duck's Anime Calamity: Akikan!

    posted @ 2/05/2009 02:19:00 PM by King Baby Duck

    Today's Anime Calamity looks at the new comedy "Akikan!"

    "Akikan!" follows a boy named Daichi, whose can of melon soda transforms into a magical human girl. I think that about explains what the show is about.

    First let’s look at what’s good about the show.

    ....!

    Well that does it for what’s good about the show! Now let’s look at what bad about the show: EVERYTHING!!!

    First off the plot is total crap! Soda cans that turn into magical girls?! Is this the best that the writers can do?! Say, do you know what you call someone who wishes a soda can could turn into a girl? A fucking psychotic loser, that’s what!!!

    Second are the characters. The soda girl, Melon (ooh, clever name!), is annoying as hell and lacks any sort of depth in character! Daichi is a perverted bastard who isn’t worth a lick of sympathy. Finally we get to the villain in the show: Hidehiko, who has a clock behind his desk that reads, “I love men,” and tries to put the moves on Daichi in the first episode. Congratulations, Hidehiko! You have just single-handledly set back the hard work my friends in the GLBT community have worked on for about, oh let’s says, another 70 years!

    Finally there’s the humor in the show. It’s just plain stupid. There was only one good chuckle in the entire first episode, and it was wasted in the beginning. I’m not going to tell you what it is because it’s not even worth a mention.

    “Akikan!” makes “Rosario + Vampire” look like the Sistine Chapel. It’s that bad. If an American company licenses it, then their headquarters should be destroyed from the inside out!

    “Akikan!” gets the lowest score ever in the Anime Calamity: F-! In fact as the J-POP Emperor I decree that if someone walks up to you and recommends that you watch it, you are allowed to punch them in the face! Not only that, but I have decided that “Akikan!” must never be spoken of again, as it is now the most vulgar word in the dictionary!

    The Opening Credits (so you'll know when to pull out the gun and blast a hole through the TV):


    This is King Baby Duck: "Ain't born to lose, baby, I'm born to win! I'm so Goddamn slick, baby, it's a sin!"

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