The Sins of Dom
A Coupla Minutes With the Sistahs #439
In this excerpt from podcast episode 439, NinjaSistah and Pandalicious discuss Dom from the game Gears of War and, ultimately, why Pandalicious will never play Juliet in William Shakespeare's play.
Pandalicious: Well, it's most certainly not going to be Dom. Ba-domp-bump Boom!
NinjaSistah: It's not going to be Dom.
Pandalicious: It's not gonna be Dom, 'cause he's dead. 'Cause he blew himself up, because he's horribly depressed about his wife.
NinjaSistah: Look, he loved her...
Pandalicious: I still...
NinjaSistah: That was his hope. That was his hope through all that stuff...
Pandalicious: And he took his lancer to her face.
NinjaSistah: He didn't have a choice.
Pandalicious: Instead of just taking the pistol and, like, a couple of shots in the chest...
NinjaSistah: Look, it's what he had in his hand. He wasn't thinking clearly...
Pandalicious: They did not hook up a proper FMV for that, because he shouldn't have taken his giant fuckin' saw lancer and shot her up. He should have taken his little mini-pistol and been, like, "Baby, I love you," and then, like, gave her a nice hug and then, pow pow, and then that could have been it. That could have been it. Epic. But you wanted to make her death as Epic as his love for his wife. I understand. But, still, I hope, in my future, if I get emancipated to the point where I'm a living skeleton, and my wife-boo or hus-boo, whatever the...
NinjaSistah: ..."boo" is?
Pandalicious: If he or she finds me, and they're, like, ahhhhh, and their hope drains and they want to end my suffering, I hope they don't take a frickin' jack-hammer...
NinjaSistah: Chain-saw to my face.
Pandalicious: I hope they give me some dignity and, like, bring me in close, maybe even try to feed me a chicken sandwich. Even make me choke on that chicken sandwich. That would be fine, too. Quiet, intimate death. Not this over..., you know, it's just so much... So much! It's so bad! Like, it's so bad. It hurts so much.
NinjaSistah: It's supposed to hurt.
Pandalicious: But it doesn't hurt in the good way. It hurts like someone didn't do their job... the right way. And then some higher-up was, like, "Well, OK." Sorry, if Dom was that nurturing and that (much) in that love with his wife, I can't imagine...
NinjaSistah: He wasn't thinking straight. He was sick!
Pandalicious: ...and then, two games later, he blew himself up! Maybe he should have just gone back... It bothers me. It still bothers me to this day. And if I ever had a chance...
NinjaSistah: It still bothers Dom, all right?
Pandalicious: It doesn't bother Dom, because he's dead now, but... and I mean Dom's not actually even real. Like, I love how we have conversations about characters who are not real people... But if I ever got a chance to actually meet the voice actor for Dom, I feel like I would give him such a horrible stink-eye for the choices his character made...
NinjaSistah: Don't! 'Cause he's a great guy! He's a really good DJ, too.
Pandalicious: I've head that! And I've heard him spin. But, like, if he was here, like, (and asked) have you ever played any of the games I'm in? (I'd answer) Yeah, and the way you played your wife was kind of crappy.
NinjaSistah: And he'd be, like, I didn't write it. I just had to read it.
Pandalicious: I just read it... well. Well, I would have had an opinion about this if I'm putting my voice on it. So if I ever get picked for voice work, and you're going to have me kill someone that I'm madly in love with and I was hoping we would be OK when I found them. Just so you know, future potential employment (though, in this case, probably not), I will not put my voice to a person who was going to take out a loved one as flamboyantly wrong as that -- it's an injustice to the romance and could drive any man insane and then want to kill themselves. So maybe you should think about that next time. Think about that.
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