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ESH Crew Twitterings

          An Open Letter to the Folks at Bungie

          Dear Bungie,

          I read in Variety this week that you have had some disagreements with your previous owner Microsoft and that was why there was no Halo announcement at E3 this year.

          I know it must be difficult after so many years kowtowing to the likes of Steve Ballmer, and if you think that maybe it's time for a little payback, I've got an idea on how to have a little vengeance against the Evil Empire.

          Give Steve Jobs a call. I understand that it may be a little difficult to get in. Between drinking macrobiotic shakes and counting all that money coming in from WALL-E and emailing to pals on the next version of the iPhone, he's a little busy these days. Tell him you've got an idea.

          First, tell him you've mended your ways. You're sorry you sold out to Microsoft all those years ago and took all those fun games away from the Mac. Then tell him you've got a way to kick the likes of Microsoft, HP, Dell and all those Asian computer makers right in the tail.

          The Halo Mac.

          The Halo Mac is not just a Macintosh with a bunch of decals on it. It's a Mac designed to play Halo. Take a MacBook Air and give it a multi-touch screen, like an iPhone. Just throw the controller away. You have everything you need, between the multi-touch screen and the keyboard.

          Inside, put a processor capable of bringing out the best in Halo, along with a solid-state drive and the maximum amount of RAM possible.

          And keep all the great capabilities of the MacBook intact. The 802.11n network is superior to anything on a console. Voice and video chat is built in -- not an add-on. In fact, you could share your screen with other players. You could even capture your screen play and turn it into Machinima with the free iMovie program on the Mac.

          Imagine the possibilities of a Halo-player that is as light as a MacBook Air and just as useful. The Xbox 360 is OK, but you only move that hot plate when it Red-Rings-Of-Death.

          [MacBook Air photo credit: Tim Malabuyo]


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          Finish What You Start...

          E3 Day One Summary

          If you are an avid listener of our podcast or frequent visitor our site you know that the ESH crew is not in LA covering E3 on the ground this year. We are there in spirit though, and I am more than happy to share what I have surmised from the day one coverage of the media bru ha ha.

          We kick off with Microsoft. From the land of online community comes the announcement of "Experience," the new online community framework that will be put into place on the XBox360 platform. Taking the hint from how successful the xbox.com community has been, "Experience" leans towards giving the user base a similar digital entertainment hub to that of MS counterpart/major competitor Sony with it's "Home" application. Through "Experience" users will have avatars that they create that can interact with each other over the internet, have access to an even broader base of electronic media entertainment [including the newly announced partner Netflix] and more.

          On hand were the pre-requisite hype game trailers for both Gears of War 2 and Fable 2 [both of which make have many of us in the gaming community salivating at the mere thought of them] upcoming titles. I will have a gallery collection of my favorite E3 released trailers up later on this week. The XBox camp was also proud to announce that the new Final Fantasy XIII title will launch simultaneously on the XBox360 platform as well as the PS3 platform. A huge win for MS in the fight to end PS3 exclusivity dominance over the Final Fantasy franchise. [Try saying that three times fast.]

          All in all MS tried to come out swinging at this event, making it known that that they are not afraid to jump into the brawl to be the best home entertainment system and not just gaming console. It's hard to not notice the trend towards a path of total digital media delivery package that the next gen systems seem to be moving toward. It is a road that competitors Sony and [to a degree] Nintendo have been marketing towards for well over a year now, but it still awaits to be seen if it is the predominant market for success here in the US.

          We will just have to see what day two brings us tomorrow evening.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Like a Soap Opera without the sex

          Way back in the early 1970s when I was a college student, I remember seeing a one-panel comic in the newspaper. A Martian explorer was reporting back to his commander, "They worship Beatles and want them to get back together."

          That accurately reflected the times. Hardly a week passed when you didn't see some story about rumors of a Beatles reunion. The media ate this stuff up. Every interview with one of the Fab Four contained the inevitable question, "When will you get back together?"

          Those questions ended when John Lennon was gunned down on Dec. 8, 1980, but it seems that today there is a new will-they-get-together fanaticism among the media: Microsoft and Yahoo.

          Just as in the 1970s with The Beatles, the media can't seem to let go of any half-baked rumor regarding the possible takeover of Yahoo by Microsoft. Jerry Yang was seen golfing with Steve Ballmer... This insider told that insider... I think it's true, so it must be true...

          It's like a Soap Opera without the sex. The tech websites are full of this meaningless chatter. Every new little rumor spawns innumerable stories and blogs and Twitters. And then, a few days later, some official at one of the companies dismisses the entire thing, which spawns even more stories, blogs and Twitters.

          The tale they all tell is pretty much the same: Microsoft must buy Yahoo or Google will take over websearch permanently and for all time. Microsoft must be crazy to not buy Yahoo. Yahoo must be insane for not giving in to Microsoft.

          And what if it all comes true? What if Microsoft swallows up Yahoo? Well then the media will really have a field day: Microsoft is insane for wasting all that money on Yahoo. Yahoo made a huge mistake to give in so easily to Microsoft.

          In either case, Google's laughing all the way to the bank.


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          Finish What You Start...

          New Podcast Day: Artificial, Smart, And Sneaky

          Monday brings with it yet another episode of the ESH podcast, and in this one the sistahs' steal the limelight and hold it hostage for about an hour.

          NinJaSistah takes the mic first this go 'round to speak on a topic near and dear to her heart, Ninja Gaiden II. From new visuals, lamest ninja name ever, to best and worst aspects of initial gameplay NinJa brings the sexy black. I mean back.

          Then Pandalicious talks about her newly addicted Wii Fit experience. The yoga that is easy, what the game is and is not, and how it affects her daily life. MagicMystic chimes in a time or too before having to head out early. All in all, it's one of our normal, wacky shows. Here are some of the episode titles we rejected:
          • It Helps If You're Nimble and Omnicient
          • From The Look Of The Ninja Gaiden Girls You'd Think Goodyear Was The Sponsor
          • Lamest Name For A NinJa: Joe
          • AI Can Be A Sneaky Bastard
          • No, The Dog Didn't Eat Panda's Homework
          • And Then She Mentioned Richard Simmons' Weiner
          • If Your Kid Turns Into A Pretzel, Turn The Wii Fit Off Now!
          • My Fat Mii Haunts Me
          • and
          • Gravity Is A Bitch And Always Wins


          Told you it was the normal wacky episode from the ESH girls. So sit back, relax and enjoy podcast episode 102: When NinJa Talks About Her Nuts, People Listen

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          Finish What You Start...

          Microsoft Copiers Strike Again

          It's bad enough that Microsoft copies everything that Apple does and calls it its own, but now it appears that the company is trying to strike gold by Wii-ifying the Xbox.

          Normally, I wouldn't consider MTV News to be a venerable source of hard-hitting journalism, but they did manage quite a scoop this week -- a sketch of a new Xbox controller that looks remarkably like a Wiimote.

          I don't want to hear all that guff about Microsoft being the great innovators. They had a decent marketing department, but the real innovation was from companies like Apple and Sun. I could go on all day about Microsoft innovations that were either bought or stolen, like DOS (bought), Windows Media Player (stolen) and the Aero Glass interface (stolen).

          In fact, I defy you to point out a Microsoft innovation that didn't appear earlier in Unix, Linux, the Amiga or the Macintosh. If you don't believe me, just Google the phrase "Microsoft steals."

          Oh, and if you haven't seen it for a while, here's a representative scene from Pirates of Silicon Valley.

          And now here's something that's gotta be really embarassing. It's from the January 2007 launch of Vista Office. Mike Sievert, the corporate vice president of Microsoft, shows off the online gaming capabilities of Vista, as he challenges his son, who is at home on his Xbox 360, playing (wait for it) UNO!

          "And, of course, this is my Games Explorer. This is what Windows Vista does to make my gaming experience easier than it's ever been, because all of my games are here in one place where I can manage them the same way.

          "I'm going to step into an upcoming release of Uno for Windows Vista, and I'm going to use my Xbox 360 controller plugged right into my Windows Vista machine, and I'm going to pull up a multiplayer game. Because what Uno for Windows Vista can do is something that games before have never been able to do, and that's cross-platform play. You're going to see the familiar Xbox 360 set of settings, and I'm going to use the Microsoft Live gaming platform to see if I can find my 10-year old son Jonathan at home in Seattle, Washington on his Xbox.

          "Now, he goes by the alias, Ice Monkey, and you can see that he's online. That's good because I'm on stage, and this would be important at this point. (Laughter.) And I'm going to go ahead and select him and invite him to play this game of Uno with me.

          "Now, you know, I travel quite a bit, and maybe I'm in a hotel room in Tokyo with my Windows Vista laptop, and it's really important that I'm able to have connections with my family when I'm gone. And this scenario is fantastic because it allows me to steal away a few minutes to play a game with Jonathan across thousands of miles, eight time zones, and two gaming platforms.

          "Take a look at this as I press Start. We launch into a game together and in just a moment across all those times we'll be playing cross-platform game play.

          "There it is. Now you need to applaud that, because I had to wait a minute. All right. (Applause.) And there it is, we're all in this game playing across the thousands of miles, me on my Windows Vista machine, and Jonathan on his Xbox."

          The guy even has to beg for applause.

          Sievert left Microsoft in February of this year. I guess you can take only so much UNO.


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          Finish What You Start...

          Your M-M-O-RPG Is Now M-O-B-I-L-E

          Wouldn’t it be awesome to play your favorite mmorpg on a portable device? I know what you’re thinking. “I do that already with my laptop.” Well I’m talking about something just a bit more portable than your average-sized laptop.

          How many times have you missed the train or bus to work because you didn’t want to log out of your mmorpg? Have you ever wished you could take your mmorpg with you on that long family trip so you’ll have something to do in the car? Well the OQO model 0.2 might be what you’re looking for. The OQO is basically an ultra mobile PC capable of running XP or Vista and weighs about one pound. You can also play a variety of other pc games on the system.

          Here’s World of World fully functioning on the system.



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          Finish What You Start...

          Zune To Be Amazed

          Seeing as how Apple did it, it was only a matter of time before Microsoft decided to make their own version of the “Jesus Phone”. Move over iPhone. The zunePhone is coming.

          Just over six months ago, Apple released their revolutionary iPhone upon the world and the cell phone industry has never been the same. Other manufactures have tried to follow in the footsteps of Apple since then, such as HTC’s Touch and LG’s Prada, but only one company can truly bring us the cell phone of all cell phones and that’s Microsoft. Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Gates and Microsoft proudly bring you the zunePhone.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Want to sell more Zunes? Put an iPod Dock in it

          This is getting ridiculous. It seems that if you want to improve sales of a product, all you have to do is put an iPod Dock in it. The latest example is the Razer Pro|Type keyboard, shown here. But that's not what would get me to buy a new keyboard, so I mocked up a picture of what would sell me on a new keyboard.

          What are we likely to see in 2008? Well, one answer is certainly more products with iPod Docks in them. Here are some products I expect to see an iPod Dock added to this year:

          Microwave oven
          Lawnmower
          Microsoft Zune
          Electric toothbrush
          Cuisinart food processor
          Playstation 3
          4GB thumb drive
          Glade Plugin air freshener
          Wii Nunchuck



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          Finish What You Start...

          Bad News/Good News

          Time for another segment of Good News/Bad News, but in the spirit of the new year, we thought we'd give you the Bad News first, followed by the Good News.

          Xbox Dead

          Bad News: Xbox Live players experienced dozens of hours of downtime this past weekend, believed to be due to thousands of new post-Christmas players on the system.

          Good News: The shut-out players returned to the holiday activities that they led in their days before video games took over their lives: football and that Futurama marathon they ran on Cartoon Network.

          Jack Thompson Hates Army Men

          Bad News: Videogame opponent Jack Thompson claims there is an "unholy alliance" between the gaming industry and the U.S. Department of Defense, teaching "an entire generation of kids that war is glamorous, cool, desirable and consequence-free."

          Good News: The IRS is hoping that computer programs like TurboTax will make an entire generation of kids think that paying taxes is glamorous, cool, desirable and consequence-free.

          Retailer Becomes Scalper

          Bad News: One videogame retailer took their allotment of Wii consoles and scalped them on eBay, rather than offering them at regular retail prices to their customers.

          Good News: At least they didn't make their female employees model the units in skimpy clothes. Remember this from last year?

          That Love Letter You Wrote In 1996 Is Going Away...

          Bad News: Microsoft is modifying Microsoft Office 2003 so Service Pack 3 can no longer open Word, Excel, PowerPoint or Access files created in a format earlier than Office 97.

          Good News: You finally have the justification to stop using Microsoft Office. Instead use the FREE OpenOffice, which will gladly read all your ancient Office files now and in the future.

          ...And So Is Netscape

          Bad News: Development is being halted on the Netscape browser Feb. 1, AOL announced last week.

          Good News: Netscape hasn't been on the cutting edge of browser development since about 1997. In fact the latest version was just a reskinned version of Firefox.

          Now Everyone's a Crook

          Bad News: In a supplemental brief responding to questions from the judge in an Arizona music piracy case, RIAA lawyer Ira M. Schwartz says that the simple act of moving your music from CD to a computer is also an "unauthorized copy" that incurs legal liability.

          Good News: "By claiming that reasonable, legal behavior is theft, the RIAA trivializes piracy," writes Wired blogger Rob Beschizza. "This is a fatal act of self-destruction. This will result in more law-abiding people thinking 'screw it' and doing it themselves. After all, when everyone is already a pirate because they 'stole' music from their own CD collections, why not add a few more counts on top?"


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          Finish What You Start...

          Hello, Superuser!

          I wish I could say I was surprised that Microsoft's software is behaving this way. Having worked for them, and knowing the people that work for them, I still do find myself surprised. When connecting your Xbox 360 to a network, it isn't simply enough to, you know, connect it. No, you have to actually have it routable. This means that you have to carry internet service, and it means you have to expose your Xbox to whatever nasties lurk out there on the internet.

          Let's start off with a fact that isn't quite obvious. I don't have internet service at home. When I do, it's because I mooch off people with open waps. Most of the time, though, it's through work, or the public libraries, or wherever that I bring this invaluable sarcasm and razor-sharp wit. So at home, we have several computers, none of which are really connected to each other, except via wireless connection (all Macs). As it turns out, the apartment I live in is wired with cat 5 (that's "ethernet" for those that don't know), and it's in the walls. Great, I thought, I'll connect my music machine (in one room) to my Xbox (in another room, but hooked up to the tv) via the wall. So, the mini (the music machine) gets its wireless connection (so we can talk to it) via an airport express. This means it's connected via a straight cat5 cable to the airport, which creates its own network. Now, we've added a crossover cable for the WAN port on the airport, connected it to the wall, and on another wall, connected a hub to the cat5 port, with the Xbox plugged into that (we have a PS2 also, a PS3 is in our future, and a Wii, etc).

          Right, so everything is plugged in happy. Blinkenlights (oh no he didn't just put a telnet URL in this post, did he?) abound. The Xbox says it's got an IP address. Let's details this quickly:

          Mini: 192.168.1.142
          Xbox: 192.168.3.14
          subnet mask: 255.255.0.0
          default route 192.168.1.142

          I happen to know that you don't need anything more than that (and you don't even need a default route if you're just using a local network). However, Microsoft not only wants you to have a network that complies with, you know, normal numbers (it won't, for example, take 4/8 numbers as IP addresses or use a 255.255.255.248 mask), but they want you to route out to the internet and to have nameservers and all that good stuff. You can't just connect your Xbox to your network.

          In this case, I want it connected because I want to use my television as speakers when I'm in the living room, even though my music is in the other room. I accomplish this normally with Connect360 – you haven't truly enjoyed a good Mech game until you've blown the living shit out of everything listening to Bad Religion's Recipe for Hate. But, in this case, Microsoft's ridiculous demands on connectivity or what is reasonable for people to have in their homes, or even what goals their customers have for their networks, take much greater precedence than, well, common sense. Or, hell, even accepted standards. Like, you know, TCP/IP.


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          Finish What You Start...

          Stupid Gadget of the Year: First Candidate

          I hereby open the nominations for Stupid Gadget of the Year, and it should come to no surprise that the first candidate is from a company that has littered the world with plenty of stupid gadgets: Microsoft.

          Microsoft, as you may remember, has brought you such Instant Junk as last year's Zune audio device, for example. It had built-in WiFi, which could have been used to wirelessly connect to a music download service. But nooooooo. The WiFi was put in there to (in Steve Ballmer's own words) "squirt" a temporary music download to someone else with a Zune. (Just try to find two people in the same room outside Redmond, Wash., with Zunes.)

          Not satisfied with 2006's undisputed Stupid Gadget of the Year, Microsoft has followed up with a candidate easily worthy of repeating last year's accomplishment: the Mobile Memory Mouse 8000 (I must have missed the previous 7,999 versions of the thing).

          You're going to see some stories about this thing in the media in the next few days (after which, the talk about the thing will all dry up), and most of the stories are going to be dead wrong about the thing. Most media outlets are going to say that it's the first computer mouse with a built-in Flash drive.

          But they're wrong.

          The mouse doesn't have a Flash drive at all. The mouse is a wirless mouse -- with a 1GB Flash drive in the transceiver of the mouse. You see, you plug in the transceiver into a USB slot on your computer, and it acts as the bridge to relay information from the mouse to the computer. And it also can store about 1GB of information.

          But it's much more complicated than that -- and that's where the problems lie:

          -- It's also a Bluetooth mouse. Flip a switch on the mouse and it can operate via Bluetooth, without the need for the transceiver, unless you are also using it as a Flash drive, which means you must have it plugged in anyway.

          -- You can carry the transceiver around to transfer data from the Flash drive to other computers, but if you leave it in another computer, you won't be able to use the transceiver for your mouse. If the computer's not Bluetooth, it's back to a wired mouse until you get the two parts back in the same room together.

          -- The batteries in the mouse hold only a three-week charge, according to Microsoft. To recharge the batteries, you have to connect a cord between the transceiver and the mouse, and that doesn't exactly make it a wireless mouse anymore, does it?

          -- A whole 1GB? Really? I'm sure that was a lot of space at some point in the 20th Century, but a quick look at the CompUSA website shows a couple of different 1GB USB Flash drives for only $11.99. Microsoft is charging $100 for its Flash drive/mouse combo -- quite a premium for such a misguided product. For that amount of money you could get one of three different 8GB USB Flash drives from CompUSA and use the free, wired (No batteries!) mouse you got with your computer.

          Yes, the Microsoft Mobile Memory Mouse 8000 (I'll bet the guy who named this thing is getting a bonus this year!) is the first candidate for Stupid Gadget of 2007. Why not just go ahead and give Microsoft the award already? Why, there are more than three months left in the year. That gives Microsoft more than 100 days to come up with something even stupider (I'm betting on a new Zune that also dispenses three flavors of wine coolers).


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          Finish What You Start...

          E3: The Journey Kicks Off

          NinJaSistah here with the jump off of E3, and I have to say, it was interesting.

          If you don't know what E3 is, I'm not exactly sure why you are visiting this site as you are obviously not a gamer. Allow me to extend a branch of friendship to you. If you are a fan of Anime, think of E3 as you would AX. It is holy and to be cherished. Or at least it was, until the "invite only" revamp this year. That being said, you awesome readers and listeners made ESH popular enough to get invited to many of the festivities surrounding the new "exclusive" [in the not happy-time in the pants way] expo. Tonight's' fare dropped NinJa off in the land of Microsoft, and boy were they happy to see me. At least I think they were happy to see me, they lit up all green and whatnot.

          Anywho, I'm going off on a tangent and I have lots to share with you.

          The night started off cool. The venue was the Santa Monica High School drowned in the familiar neon green of the XBox brand and a kick-ass tent like thing that was setup to spew Microsoft folks onto the stage before the crowd. The whole idea was to show us in the crowd enough "cool" and "wicked" stuff [Peter Moore's words, not mine] knock our socks off. I personally had one sock knocked off of me, so they sorta did what they set out to do. Knocking a ninja's socks off is impressive, even if it's only a single sock. Digressing again. Before Peter comes out to speak, the massive screen that nearly engulfs center stage displays a "screensaver" for lack of a better term, that creates a nexus type of deal by connecting lines between random gamertags that float by. [I just want to say that my gamertag did float by on the screen and I took it as a personal shout out to me from Peter Moore and Shane Kim.] They definitely get an "A" from me in the "good ambiance" department. Hell, they gave me a butt cushion y'all!

          Normally this would be the part of the article where I recounted who came on in what order and what they said, quote the folks who obviously had been drinking the XB360 kool-aid a bit too much, and then piss and moan about not having E3 credentials. I would be well within my rights to do so. What I thought would be a better idea though was to share with you the few of the things that left lasting impressions on me, and what I took away from the night as a whole.

          Game numero "A" that got my juices flowing to the point that I thought I might be in need of a towel was Rock Band. Pandalicious and I have made no attempt to hide our lust, nay, obsession with Guitar Hero 2... so it shouldn't come as a surprise that Rock Band would be high on my "must have" list. What surprised me was the live demo the audience was treated to. Peter Moore himself suited up with the fine folks from Harmonix to play a song by the Hives I think, and it just rocked... the game, not so much Peter. Peter needs to work on his hammer-ons a bit. But the demo seemed to go off without a hitch. Well, Peter kept accidentally pausing the game, but it was forgivable, almost cute in a way. What struck me was how much of a "get together" game Rock Band potentially could be. If the peripheral controllers don't cost an arm and a leg to get at the same time as the game, I could really see people buying the whole set to host some impromptu jam sessions.

          Next up to bat was the trailer for a title that blatantly was going after the Mario Party people, Viva Pinata: Party Animals. It's a party game people. A party game based off of the "Viva Pinata animated series... in it's second year of broadcasting." The way that line was delivered it made me immediately think that MS Game Studios really wanted to distance this game from the existing Viva title on the XB360 as it did not do as favorably in sales as MS would have liked. It struck me as odd though. Viva didn't suck out loud. Those that did buy it completely enjoyed it, so why the need to declare the new titles affiliation with such an obscure TV show. One of the reviewers sitting beside me asked the guy to his right if it was really true that the cartoon was still on the air. Another reviewer in the row ahead of me didn't even know that there was a Viva cartoon series. Just odd.

          Lastly, what hit me were the missing demos. For all the talk about the new XB360 titles being delivered in 07, [and there are a shitload folks] it seemed to me that there was a huge lack of BioShock, DMC4, or even Fable 2 footage. There was about as much video evidence of the existence of these games in video we were treated to on average as there was for Dynasty Warriors: Gundam. Fable 2 is no small release for MS, and yet there wasn't even a section set aside to run the trailer we saw last year. I only know that BioShock exists because there was some pre-rendered video that did make it's way into a video montage that we saw. Because you gotta have-a MONTAGE!! But there was a longer clip for DW:Gundam in that same montage than footage of BioShock.

          But anyways, it's late and I'm sure you just want me to complete my thought and go to bed, so I will. [You guys are awfully pushy tonight.] I kinda left the gathering tonight feeling as though I had been sitting in on a state of the union address. A lot of information was put in front of me. Some demos worked while others had some technical difficulties. That said, important person after important person came out onto the stage to tell me that these games were good and these games were cool, and that millions of people were going to want to play these games, and I'm sure that they are right, but the lack of focus on the other games that are known "blockbuster" titles for MS gave me pause. Being surrounded by a gaggle of gamers like myself it was hard to not get caught up and drink the kool-aid my damn self, but I think I made it through day one with my integrity still in tact.

          It's not like they gave me a free XBElite to replace my busticated XB360 or anything cool like that.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Bloody Hell!

          Being one of my few days off from my regular daytime torture routine [a.k.a. the job that pays my bills] I decided to hit up ye olde XBLive in hopes of improving my Gamerscore...

          Two hours later my score has not increased a bit. I'm not a bad gamer, or even a being slightly lackadaisical. I didn't play anything because I couldn't play anything. Well let me rephrase. I couldn't play anything online against people because I *thought* my network was failing.

          See I had just bought this smoking new router from Apple because I heard it supports that nice new faster wireless protocol 800.11n. Screw those dawdling ass backwards 802.11 A,B, and G protocols. We are in the days of the new. We are on the precipice of the future, and um, we need a helluva lot more bandwidth for all the digital shit we are stealing using. The 802.11n spec sheet says that N networks have a max data rate of 540Mbit/s with an indoor range of about 165ft while the max data rates for G networks falls in at about 54Mbit/s and B networks at a meager 11Mbit/s and equal indoor ranges of about 98 feet. Now that I got that bit of geekiness out the way, I shall continue.

          So I purchased this router in order to lay the foundation for the next expansion of my entertainment system project. There will eventually be a box that will allow me to dish all of my digital content to my beautiful TV so I need fat pipe. Got the router in, hooked up, computers all connecting to the router with no problem [I will say that only one of my current computers can actually handle the N networks load, but I'm fine with that for now] and so it was on to getting the game boxes on the network as well.

          On the back of the new router are three ethernet ports for sharing the wi-fi connections which works out great for me: one for the PS3, one for the XB360, and one for my VOIP line, I should be golden. First I hook up the PS3 and other than needing a system update [told you I don't use the thing too often] it got right on the web. The Wii was easy because it saw my wifi network and connected to it without hesitation. So last up was the XB360. I figured this too would be a easy as getting a picture of Paris Hilton sans panties but this was not to be. Over and over again the XB360 would fail to pass the MTU test. I would reset my cable modem, reset my router, give each machine it's own IP address on the network, but nothing made my sad little world become bright. There was to be no joy in Mudville.

          I even went as so far to call up my ISP for help. I know they are clueless, but at this point I'd take anything... anything over not being able to get my Live on. After 20 minutes on the line I got a person who directed me to the companies website for instructions on how to setup my network for Live, or that I should seek help from MicroSoft immediately as this is a 3rd party product yada, yada, yada, and a boogity boo. After landing on the website I find that I have done everything I was supposed to in the order I was supposed to. I was going to have to go to the Microsoft site and ask them for help... and then a funny thing happened. The Xbox.com website was down for maintenance.

          BLOODY FREAKIN' HELL MAN!

          Why did no one tell me of this? Did they just assume that I was going to go to their stupid website regularly like some sort of lemming on a journey to get my daily ration of XBox news? Huh? Well? Because I don't. I have labors to attend to during the day that aide in my being able to fund my video gaming lust under the cover of darkness.

          Except for today, because XBLive is down till about 8pm. Just FYI.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Mac and PC, 1 Million Years B.C.

          The fight between the Macintosh and the PC has gone on for years -- about a million of them, by our count. Our comic shows one early battle...




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          Finish What You Start...

          HD DVD XB360 A BetaMax?

          I didn't say it first though, the guys at MS did... in and interview with Ben Kuchera over at arsTechnica. I'm not kidding. After reading the piece that Mr. Kuchera did on the double sided interview with the MS goblins I gotta say, Kuchera's got balls.

          Personally, I think that making a 360 box with a built in HDMI port is a good idea. Such a good idea in fact that I think that they should have done it from the launch of the damn thing. What's going to happen when this new box hits the shelves and all of us fine folk who bought systems before they got their proper port allotment? Are we going to get a make good? Is this part of the reason why MS upped the warranty for the XB360? Am I going to get to call customer service and get my 360 "fixed" and be sent a replacement box? Huh, MS? You gonna hook a sistah up or what? I need to know.

          Jokes aside, it was nice to see that after another heads up comparison of the 360 and the PS3 what I've been saying for a while is turning out to be true: PS3 isn't going to blow anything out of the water just yet. Between the scaling issues, the games division losing something close to 1.4 billion [that's billion, with a "B"] that we may have not been off our nut when we said Sony might be in some trouble.

          I like being right. Damn it feels good to be a ninja!

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          Finish What You Start...

          Blue Dragon Madness

          Ok, maybe "madness" is a tad bit strong for what's really going down in Japan right now, but the MS Game Studios title Blue Dragon has sure gotten some serious attention out of our friends in the East.

          In all honesty, I hadn't heard much about the game [I've never been big on imports] nor do I tend to like RPG's... so Blue Dragon flew in under my radar. I'm just glad I caught wind of it when I did. Normally, I can't stand turn-based RPG games as the "turn-based" part tends to slow down the gameplay and bores me, but Blue Dragon doesn't look like a typical RPG game.

          Blue Dragon is the first MS project out of Mistwalker [a development studio founded by Square-Enix's Hironobu Sakaguchi.] If the character design looks familiar it may be because you've seen the work before. Akira Toriyama actually handled design duty on this game. Some of Toriyama-san's work includes an anime series called Dragon Ball... you might have heard about it. I've no idea if this game is going to be coming to the US, but it would be a shame if it didn't.

          Peep the trailer here:


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          Finish What You Start...

          Animal Crossing : Wild World for Nintendo DS

          Animal Crossing : Wild World for Nintendo DS by Geek Woman

          Animal Crossing for the Nintendo DS is like a tiny milling MMO of ity bity people. There is a large "E" friendly community surrounding it. In addition to being able to connect and play with other DS owners while in the same physical location, the easy to use wifi capability can connect you with other players world wide.

          It is an ingenious game in several aspects. The security for keeping identities secret seems to work and it is fairly easy to screen and block out unwanted parties. The exchange of a Friend Code has to be given someplace out side of the DS. It has to be someone that you physically know or meet through numerous Friend Code listing message boards. Once there though how would someone know if they were communicating with a an adult or a kid? They do require a verifiable email address to register at most forums. But that isn't much protection, so wifi chat should be supervised. Also many McDonald's restaurants and other hotspots permit people to play together wirelessly on the DS.

          The game has an understandably "E" rating. However it should be specified someplace that a person does need to be able to read fairly well in order to be able to play the game. Maybe at some point in the future suggestions about the age a kid who would enjoy a game could be made on the packaging. Like "for children 5 and up".

          Game-play
          You would think that game that consists of farming a fruit orchard, fishing and collecting fossils would be relaxing. Not for me. I became obsessed with paying the huge, escalating and continuous morgage(s). Oh no! This is like a nightmare. I suppose it is to teach kids responsibilities but it made me frantic. I picked oranges and gathered shells. I learned how to perfect my fishing skills pretty quickly. In the first day I got it paid off. I thought I would be relieved then. But it was not to be. Tom Nook the owner of the only store in town, extorted me for another mortgage to build me a bigger house, even after I told him I didn't want it. This reminds me of an episode of the Xfiles... At least I could pick a lilac roof. Now I have an even more huge debt! If you do chores for townspeople, dig up some treasure, and discover some of the other secrets hidden in the game you earn lots of gold. There are many little side ‘missions’ in AC:WW.

          I consoled myself with fishing. I caught several kinds. Notably I got a Koi and an Octopus. When I returned to the store the next morning they were closed. I am worried that my fish might spoil. I read online that I can time travel and set the time back on the clock to sell the fish. Then I have to reset the clock back to the correct present time so that I don't screw up the game. Heaven forbid that if after you turn the DS on - that you change your mind. A creature pops up and bitches you out with over 30 screens of a harangue about how important it is to save the game before you shut it off. Typing in "Shut up" or other epithets don't help any. I would love to know how to get that dubious feature to quit.

          I was penalized for my trips back to the past by loosing trees. Several of my flower plants also looked as if they had been plant - napped by a neighbor and put in her garden. When I switched my clock to February 14th there was snow on the ground and my plants in that time weren't too happy about this.

          Fishing is a tricky but fun pass time. The ocean wave sound effect is almost convincing with ear buds. This is a typical RPG. You build stuff, customize things, plant gardens and weed around the town. But the map is tiny. It suffers for only having one little town area to be in - unless you visit other peoples towns to trade items online. Compared to Pokémon which has many of these tiny towns all on one GBA cartridge this game has only one small one. The moon phases and weather are correct for my area. But this game goes in too many directions and is lacking fundamental basics. If space mattered then some of the odd customization features could have been skipped. Making constellations, or designing umbrellas could have been done without for example - to make the individual single person game experience larger.

          Customization gives you the option to decide what you want the interior of your house to look like, along with your clothes, hairstyle, outdoors, museum, constellations, and music playing in your house. Compared to the GameCube version of AC, there are more items and more to do in the new DS version. Online, you can buy items from people. That makes it easier to complete sets you’ve been trying to collect.

          To make me even more paranoid the game is still playing even though I am not. For example, if you don’t play the game for a month, your town will have weeds throughout. The weird townspeople will forget who you are, and sometimes move out. There isn’t a big reason beyond obsession to continue playing the game after a few days or so. You would have to pick all the weeds, and talk to everyone in your town again which isn't very interesting. I got crestfallen seeing that my trees and plants died. You can only plant one tree per day so many of my fruit trees died. I am glad I don't have as bad luck with gardening in real life. That would be sad. There’s not much motivating you to play this game in the first place, and the punishing mortgages aren't enough incentive to make you continue playing it. There is a thin line between realistic and engaging and reality check and stressing. AA : WW is more like a sim than a game.

          Sound and Music
          The background music changes every hour all of the tunes sound boopey and empty. The animals don't talk, they make odd little noises which you can thankfully shut off. It has a rudimentary sound program in it so you can make your own Town song and online you can use that to play songs that people have worked out and posted the tablature for. Also in the coffee shop in the Museum you can watch a coffee bar act and listen to several unlockable songs there if you are into music on the Nintendo there is plenty of it to be found in this game.

          Multiplayer
          When it comes to networking and people skills the DS is way ahead of the Sony PSP on this so far. Though Microsoft also intends to push Nintendo's hardware out of people's hands, they will be hard pressed to compete with the feel good, goody - good Nintendo. Again another one, a community that springs up like magical mushroom fairy rings around games like this one. There is something about Nintendo characters that make people rabid, and this is one of them.

          The game is addictive without being entirely fun. It is an amusing way to kill time. And it will kill lots of time on you in between battery charges. Collecting items can make you crazy. There are several aspects of this game that are vast and endless. Though somehow filling all that empty space sometimes feels daunting rather than exciting. It is all about the grind without really getting anyplace. Skills like fishing have an endcap on them. There is a finite number of kinds of fish that you can catch.

          Conclusion
          It is a step forward in technology and it plays very stable. It is a solid game and from what I understand kids really like it. There are a number of women playing it. It could be considered a chick game because of the heavy elements of clothing and interior design and the lack of violence. The characters are those cute little badly rendered icons that seem to charm people so much. Not much to complain about here I give it a 4 out of 5


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          Finish What You Start...

          Game Hardware Shopper

          Holiday Hardware Guide by Geek Woman

          If you are looking for some shopping advice on game hardware for the female, or male, gamer on your list then hopefully this article will help you understand it all. The location that is preferred for a game environment is an important choice to be aware of if you are shopping for games and accessories for your gamer. Games come in three basic types which are the PC, Console or Handheld. I'm going to try and give you the keys to the kingdom of the consoles.

          First of all "What is a game console?" These are a box like machine that you attach to a TV set. Games are played with a controller that is held in the hands and effects the action on the screen. These have indeed been around since Pong and Pac Man, and if that is where you left the game trail, then you might be glad to know that those old school or retro games are still offered, in game packs and collections. Sometimes they have been updated and upgraded. If you want to pick up something like that for a gift you need to know the brand name and the model of the console or game device that your gamer has. Write it down and take it with you when you go shopping.

          Some people opt for playing games on their PC rather than on the television. It seems that older people and women are the dominant demographic that enjoy using the PC for gaming. PC game - play are very popular for playing the massively multiplayer online games or MMOG's. Games such as World of Warcraft or Guild Wars are played on a PC with a keyboard and mouse. These games enable the player to interact with thousands of other players. Some of them also include the ability to talk to the other people while you are playing with them. Thought those features have been developing more slowly on PC. If your friend is playing an MMO there aren't many additional accessories for those. If they are a Guild Wars Player they may not have the new chapter called Nightfall which is a great game to add to the original Guild Wars or to buy it as a stand alone game. There are the Limited Edition Keyboards that are available for the MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing) games that are good looking and work well which are sold by a company called Zboard. Zboards

          Perhaps the best way to determine what console to buy is to go by the age of the person who will be playing it. Right now there are three "next gen" consoles. Last year in November Microsoft upgraded their hardware and it is called the Xbox 360. It has mid - range graphics. There are over 100 games available for it at this time. The games are mainly of the first person shooter type or FPS and sports games. If you have heard of Halo 2 and Gears of War, or Oblivion those are titles for the Xbox 360. These games are for a mature crowd. The action is fast paced and bloody. Often the most popular games for the "360" carry a "T" for Teen or an "M" for Mature rating. Those ESRB ratings mean that Teens of 17 and 18 years old and above are the recommended age limit. These ratings can mean that there could be language or behaviors that some people would consider too crude for younger kids. It is no joke either. If you have a mix of older and younger kids in the house, the choice of games is crucial and requires your attention as much as monitoring what movies on DVD or cable that your younger kids could get into.

          With Xbox the online aspect is called Xbox Live. A paid subscription is required for this additional service. With the online feature more games and demos are available to download directly into the console. The console can be bought with one of a few choices of hard drive size for saving downloadable games and other functions. Xbox Live gives players access to playing with many other players at the same time. It isn't 'massively' multiplayer as it is with with PC. Although large groups of strangers can interact with each other in an open ended party - line conversation. There are over 4 million users on Xbox Live. Xbox Live has something of a reputation for "Trash -Talking" which in short, means that a player that is wearing the headphones is opening themselves up to the possibility of hearing unkind and curse word laced tirades about the flaws in their game from other players. There is no one monitoring these conversations and there is no one censoring what the others could be saying. Because of this tendency, I would not recommend the Xbox 360 for little girls or young women under 18.

          Costs for the annual subscription is approximately $50 US, its called Xbox Live Gold which includes voice chat, and Xbox Marketplace for gamers to buy and sell content. Sometimes original games, and old school arcade titles are downloadable. Xbox 360 works on HD TVs. They claim to have 250 old Xbox or "original Xbox" games that will play on the new console. Be careful to look up a list online for games that are called "backwards compatible" prior to inserting an old Xbox game into the Xbox 360. The digital media that it plays are DVD-Video, DVD-ROM, DVD-R/RW, DVD+R/RW, CD-DA, CD-ROM, CD-R, CD-RW, WMA CD, MP3 CD, JPEG Photo CD.

          Microsoft has two variations of Xbox 360 available for sale. One has the Xbox 360 faceplate, and a Silver Xbox Live package, $300 known as a core package, that comes with one wired controller, standard A/V cable, and the console. The Gold package is required to actually play online games. There is a $400 system with a 20 GB hard drive, Xbox 360 Remote Controller, High Definition TV component cables, Xbox 360 headset and a wireless controller.

          Next the Playstation 3 was released last week the manufacturer's suggested retail price is between $600 and $700 dollars US. It has been in the news and has gotten some bad press. Most of the incidents involved mismanagement of the long lines of people who were camping out to be able to get the very low quantity of these premium machines that were produced. One Massachusetts man was shot in a hold up of a line of customers waiting outside a store in Putnam Connecticut. The gunmen were attempting a hold up when this man refused to pay them. Because Sony was not able to make enough of these complicated advanced machines to fulfill the demands for them, it created chaos in several ways.

          In the past Playstation 2 has been the most popular gaming console in the US with the most millions sold. Perhaps Sony should have waited to launch the sale until they had more of them ready. The PS3 Platform plays a few more accessories peripherals than the 360. It also boasts to be the most graphically advanced system. The new Blu-Ray Disc™ is a type of High Definition disk for playing movies that is supposed to be the future of disk published media. The way that DVD's replaced VHS a few years ago. The PS3 has what is called a SIXAXIS™ wireless controller that interacts with the screen in a close to 3D experience. You can use your Playstation 3 with High-Definition displays as well as conventional or standard TVs. It comes with either a 20GB or 60GB removable hard disk drive (HDD). The thousands of PS One® and PS2 PlayStation®2 games as well as CDs and DVDs are useable on the PLAYSTATION®3. The thing supposedly plays just about everything including some digital photo cards.

          The PS3 has online capabilities including multiplayer gaming, text and video messaging, voice chat, downloading content and browsing the web. Even though the PS3 has impressive technical specifications, you may not be able to get one for the December holidays. It could be a moot point until sometime next Spring. There are over inflated PS3 prices on ebay, and buying those is not only exorbitantly expensive, but could be risky as well.

          The PLAYSTATION®3 is available in two configurations with either the 20GB hard disk drive or the 60GB HDD. Some PlayStation 2 or PlayStation format software titles may perform differently on the system than they do on the native systems for example the PS3 doesn't support a vibration controller.

          Then last Sunday the offering of the first Nintendo Wii consoles' launch was a 1960's "Love In" where the people in lines waiting were exchanging free hugs, ordering lunch for each other and playing games together. Something can be said about the two different types of people that were attending these launch parties. For the most part the Nintendo Wii draws a younger crowd and is most popular with younger kids and people that enjoy Nintendo's cute and quirky games.

          There are approximately 50 games for the Wii, and we are told that there will be enough of the consoles to go around. Nintendo and developers seem to be in a rush to create new games for this innovative new product. Nintendo wanted to bring gaming to everyone, and has many titles that are rated for all ages and for kids. They went one more step and made a controller that is supposed to be easier to pick up and play since it is designed to resemble a television remote controller. You play with two hands and the actions resemble the actual movements of slashing a sword or driving. The remote is used as a handheld pointing device and can detect motion and rotation in three dimensions . The controller set called the "nun-chucks and wii-mote" interact with a sensor strip that you placer near your TV for a realistic complete 3D experience. A one-handed controller that uses a combination of accelerometers and infrared detection in conjunction with the sensor bar to sense its position in 3D space. Some people have found the workout to be a bit strenuous

          The Nintendo Wii is not all things to all people the way that the other two consoles are attempting to be an all around media hub that takes the place of all the other components in your home entertainment center. What the Wii does do is add another level of fun and mirthfulness back into games. The unique controller has been a big hit so far and has gotten high marks from every reviewer. It is rare for something so gimmicky and unusual to get such a unanimous welcome from the jaded and snarky gaming community. People that have the 360 are getting the Wii too because it is like the apples and oranges in the PC world yet again.

          The Wii is an ideal choice for a household with older and younger kids, seniors, and for the homes that do not have a High Definition TV set. Those aren't interested in the more mature titles, and those chat capabilities that are for adults or older kids can have a fairly safe online experience with the privacy and Friend policies from Nintendo. The console also features its own online service WiiConnect24 , which enables it to receive messages and updates over the Internet. The Wii console won the Game Critics Awards for Best of Show and Best Hardware. The console has a few kid safety features such as parental controls to prohibit younger kids from playing the wrong games. It reads the content rating and won't play games that are not set to the right age level.

          The number of Wii consoles that will be available in the Americas during the launch rollout are expected to meet demand and sales of 4 million consoles worldwide by the end of 2006 are anticipated. The company affirmed that they "are working to ensure a plentiful supply and a consistent flow."

          The launch Wii package includes the console, a stand to allow the console to be placed vertically, a circular clear stabilizer for the main stand, one Wii Remote, one Nunchuk attachment, one Sensor Bar, a removable stand for the sensor bar, one external main power adapter, AV cables (component video and other type of cables will be available separately), and a copy of Wii Sports in the US and Canada. The Wii console is the smallest home console unit of the three contenders and the least expensive at $250. US. The front of the console features a slot-loading media drive lit up by a by distinct blue light and it accepts both Wii software and discs from Nintendo's prior console, the Game-Cube. They are telling us that it is fully backwards compatible with all the Previous Game Cube games.

          Additionally the interface for the console is designed around the concept of television channels, with a Wii Menu. Nintendo will not charge fees for playing games from the service. Channels are graphically displayed, and are navigated using the point of the Wii Remote. They are the Disc Channel, Mii Channel, News Channel, Forecast Channel, Photo Channel, Wii Shop Channel, Internet Channel. The Virtual Console Channel is basically an “online service, similar to Xbox Live Arcade. The Nintendo DS will be able to play game demos downloaded from the Wii console which gamers would receive from Nintendo, similar to a DS Download Station. Gamers can download retro games not only for the NES, Super NES, and Nintendo 64, but also Sega’s Genesis, NEC’s TurboGrafx-16 and others. The Wii has average graphics and only a 512 MB built-in flash memory, expansion is available via SD card memory, up to 2 GB max. It will take Game-Cube Memory Cards for saving GCN games only.

          In addition to the larger game consoles or PC games that you find at home, mobile games have become very popular. The Nintendo DS is a hand held, rechargeable dual screen portable game system. It comes in a variety of colors and it is pocket sized. It is the most popular handheld game console, which easily buried the competition, which were the Sony PSP and the N-Gage. it has continued to hold the record for the most units sold just as the Game Boy has for years. It comes in two sizes. The original unit that made its debut last year, is referred to as the 'NDS' and it can play both the library of Game Boy Advance games as well as games for the DS. The DS Lite is a smaller sleeker version of the same DS machine, but it smaller and does not have the additional slot for the GBA games. You can find several reviews and editorials about the DS right on this website. Nintendo DS and the Wii are expected to have a type of connectivity to use functions like the Nintendo DS's microphone and touch-screen as inputs for Wii games like Pokémon Battle Revolution. It is expected that all of Nintendo's huge repertoire of well known game franchises, such as Zelda, Metroid, Mario, Animal Crossing, and Pokémon will come to the Wii in some form.

          For very tiny kids and toddlers Leapster has the education interactive toys for under $100 Leapster

          For an easy comparison chart you can check out Gamefly. They have a chart showing the three consoles. The Nintendo Wii, the Xbox 360, and the Playstation 3. Renting games or giving a Gamefly subscription is a good gift idea.

          For a stocking stuffer I recommend Geek Woman's Game Guide 2006


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