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          How Good Looking Are You?

          I only ask the question because Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People is available on the PC and Wii now, and you might want to pick it up.

          I was a huge Homestarrunner.com fan a while back, but ESH, the day job, and web comics pretty much eat up all of my time. But Telltale Games is pretty proud of the new game and have a whole page devoted to it. Check it out here, and read more about the game below... here.

          From the press release:
          In the season premiere, Strong Bad's plans to beat the snot out of his rival Homestar Runner backfire, and he ends up with an unwanted houseguest cramping his style. Now he needs to get life back to normal, by any means possible. Comical point-and-click gameplay progresses the story, with side quests, mini games, achievements, and an "extended play" sandbox mode that unlocks after the story is completed rounding out the game experience.

          New episodes can be downloaded from the Wii Shop Channel each month for 1000 Wii Points, and the game takes advantage of the WiiConnect24 technology by giving players the ability to send Strong Bad-themed emails to Wii friends directly from the Lappy. Photos taken using the in-game camera feature can be attached to emails, allowing players to show off Easter eggs uncovered or hidden costumes collected during the game.

          "We are very excited," said a Videlectrix spokesperson from his pretend high-rise office, "Our last game topped out at 8 bits. We've heard this one might reach 9 or 10!"

          Downloadable versions of each Strong Bad episode will also be available for the PC exclusively from Telltale's website, with preorders starting today at www.telltalegames.com/strongbad. Episodes can be purchased individually for $8.95 or as part of a five-episode subscription for $34.95. As with Telltale's popular Sam & Max series, customers who purchase the full series from Telltale will later be eligible to get a disc version for the cost of shipping and handling.

          After the "Homestar Ruiner" premiere on August 11, storylines in the monthly episodes will run the gamut from political struggles to rock’n roll to the world of videogames (of course), building to the exciting season finale in December. Many fan favorite characters from Free Country USA will appear in each episode, along with special new super 8-bit style mini-games from Videlectrix.

          I guess it's time to get some Wii Points.

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          Finish What You Start...

          New Podcast Episode: De-Generation X and Y

          It's another all-videogame podcast, but, as usual, the Sistahs careen dangerously toward the profane and near-profane.

          While Ninja proclaims the goodness of the Pure and Braid videogames, Panda admits her love for retro games, particularly those that can be found through XBox Live. It all leads up to a future topic for the podcast: How to Turn Your Wii Into a Micro-brewery.

          I think we all have to admit that would be quite effective in selling the Wii to hardcore gamers.

          So please enjoy Episode 109 of the ElectricSistaHood podcast, How Do You Play Where's Your Pickle?


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          Finish What You Start...

          Mmm, Zombie Massacre

          Get ready to use your wiimote to shoot down and hack through some zombie mallrats folks, Capcom today announced that Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop is in development for the Wii.

          The new title will be based on the previous Dead Rising videogame, but not be a port of that title.

          Capcom promises that Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop will
          "delivers a more immersive, intuitive and interactive experience as players use the Wii Remote to shoot, slash and bludgeon their way through a zombie infested shopping mall, fighting for survival.

          In the game, you are Frank West, an overly zealous freelance journalist on a hunt for the scoop of a lifetime. While tracking a juicy lead, he makes his way to the small suburban town of Willamette only to find that it has become overrun by zombies. Frank escapes to the local shopping mall, thinking it will be a bastion of safety but it turns out to be anything but. It will be a true struggle to survive the endless stream of enemies, but players will have full reign of a realistic shopping centre and its varied stores offering an endless supply of real and makeshift weapons to fight off the flesh-hungry mob. If Frank is running low on health he can pay a visit to one of the many restaurants or cafes for a meal in order to restore his energy and continue the fight.

          The game is split into a series of individual cases, all of which Frank must complete in order to gain mission critical info that will allow him to figure out what the hell is going on with all the zombie bastards.

          Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop’s infectious humor delivers some welcome relief from the incessant tide of zombies with players able to dress Frank up in a variety of comedic costumes and take on the undead hordes with a selection of improvised and sometimes highly ineffective weapons such as a toy sword or a football.

          Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop is scheduled to hit store shelves this Winter.

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          Finish What You Start...

          New Podcast Day: Artificial, Smart, And Sneaky

          Monday brings with it yet another episode of the ESH podcast, and in this one the sistahs' steal the limelight and hold it hostage for about an hour.

          NinJaSistah takes the mic first this go 'round to speak on a topic near and dear to her heart, Ninja Gaiden II. From new visuals, lamest ninja name ever, to best and worst aspects of initial gameplay NinJa brings the sexy black. I mean back.

          Then Pandalicious talks about her newly addicted Wii Fit experience. The yoga that is easy, what the game is and is not, and how it affects her daily life. MagicMystic chimes in a time or too before having to head out early. All in all, it's one of our normal, wacky shows. Here are some of the episode titles we rejected:
          • It Helps If You're Nimble and Omnicient
          • From The Look Of The Ninja Gaiden Girls You'd Think Goodyear Was The Sponsor
          • Lamest Name For A NinJa: Joe
          • AI Can Be A Sneaky Bastard
          • No, The Dog Didn't Eat Panda's Homework
          • And Then She Mentioned Richard Simmons' Weiner
          • If Your Kid Turns Into A Pretzel, Turn The Wii Fit Off Now!
          • My Fat Mii Haunts Me
          • and
          • Gravity Is A Bitch And Always Wins


          Told you it was the normal wacky episode from the ESH girls. So sit back, relax and enjoy podcast episode 102: When NinJa Talks About Her Nuts, People Listen

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          Finish What You Start...

          Oh No He Didn't (Oh Yes He Did)

          The man in the photo here is a guy named Laurent Fischer. He's not remarkably unlike you or me. But when he puts his foot in his mouth, he manages to jam it as far in as he can.

          You see, Fischer is the director of marketing for Nintendo's European division. And, as a director of marketing, he really ought to know better than to do what he did last week.

          Nintendo users have been clamoring for more memory for the Wii -- an external hard drive would be awfully nice, especially as games take up more space. But, in a story for Edge, a gaming magazine, the editor's asked Fischer about the demand for more space:

          As is always the case with Nintendo’s press events nowadays, the dirty word ‘casual’ was raised at its WiiWare preview, only to be dismissed in favor of a distinction between gamers and non-gamers. Playing these semantic games is fine, but when a pertinent question about the limited Wii system memory was raised, Laurent Fischer, managing director of marketing at NOE, easily slipped into talking about how “geeks and otaku” were the only people who would want this issue addressed.

          Otaku, if you're not hip to the Japanese language, is a slang term that characterizes gamers as pimply, fat guys who spend all their time playing videogames in the basement of their parents' house. It's like inferring that Ninjasistah eats only watermelon and fried chicken. It's not a very nice word.

          The story was posted on the Next Generation gaming website on Wednesday and the blogosphere has had a field day with Fischer's comment. On his blog, God of War creator David Jaffe said, "Ok, so if this is true, it's really, really sad. And not so much because Nintendo seems to be telling a chunk of its loyal fanbase to go fuck itself, but because it's just reeks of junior high school vibe immaturity bullshit."

          In the meantime, Fischer has retracted his comment, with the following missive on the Videogaming247 website:

          "I have huge respect for those who, like me, share a common passion for Nintendo and want to make it clear that I would never use and I didn't use this terminology in such a context or way to cause offence. I regret that this misunderstanding has created such offence and disappointment within the community."

          Oh, I see. He was using the word "otaku" in the nicest way.

          The upside of the whole thing? The geeks and otaku apparently are the winners, according to Wired:

          Immediately following Fischer's statement, geeks and otaku around the world turned on their Wiis to find that the on-board storage had been magically quadrupled through the power of apology.


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          Finish What You Start...

          Didja see?

          The videogame industry is packed with news these days, but I'm sure you must have read about some of this stuff:

          Didja see? There's a new Blackberry case from Otterbox.

          It protects the Blackberry from the iPhone!

          Didja see? Square Enix says Final Fantasy XIII is still intended to be exclusive for the PS3.

          I guess if no one plays it, no one will know how badly it sucks.

          Didja see? In order to save tens of millions of dollars on the Xbox 360, Microsoft designed its own chip for the thing. Then when the chip red-ringed everyone's Xbox 360, the recall cost Microsft a billion dollars.

          As the politicians say, a billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you're talking real money.

          Didja see? An analyst says that the reason we can't get Wii Fit here is because Nintendo is sending them all to Europe because of the strong Euro.

          That, and that the only people who want to become fit are already fit.

          Didja see? Lucas Arts laid off 100 people last week.

          It means Ninjasistah won't see her Wii lightsaber game for a while longer.

          Didja see? Take Two has announced BioShock 3 -- even though BioShock 2 isn't even out yet.

          What's next, BioShock: The Musical?

          Didja see? Scientists have discovered an algorithm that solves the Rubik's Cube in only 23 moves.

          Or, just one move if you have 46 hands.

          Didja see? They're coming out with a Metallica version of Guitar Hero.

          Unfortunately, while on your network it checks your computers for copyright-infringing music.

          Didja see? Sony has quit development on two games for the PS3 and one for the PSP.

          They're taking their football and going Home. Oh, that's right, Home is still vapor, too.

          Didja see? Game developers are taking advantage of the accelerometer in the iPhone to make some really great games.

          How much is that Nintendog in the window?


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          Finish What You Start...

          Momma Says Knock You Out

          2K Sports announced that Don King Presents: Prizefighter, the first documentary-style boxing extravaganza, has officially gone gold and is ready for production on the XB360.

          Brainchild of Venom Games [a 2K studio] Don King Presents: Prizefighter is said to try to find and focus on the balance between sports simulation and mystique inside and outside the boxing ring.

          Don King Presents: Prizefighter puts the player in the role of an unknown boxer fighting his way out of obscurity and into the international spotlight while attempting to claim the world championship title. Players will have rigorous training regimens and have to fight the temptations of wealth and stardom. [My personal advice is to not end up like Mike Tyson]

          The game sports a
          "...live-action sports documentary style that features real-life legends and current stars from the world of boxing including Ken Norton, Larry Holmes, Andrew Golota, Joe Calzaghe and many others."


          And for the dudes that like pixel vixens, both the Penthouse Pet of the Year Heather Vandeven and video vixen Bria Myles also star in the documentary and will try to distract you.

          I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but Don King Presents: Prizefighter

          Prizefighter hits your local game-a-torium on June 10 for Xbox 360, and this fall for Wii.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Technical Difficulties Suck

          Being Monday, we had to hit you with a new episode of the podcast... but this one probably should have been left in the oven a bit longer.

          Poor Pandalicious has having some serious internet issues which left Evermore with a hell of a job editing a show together, but they pulled it off pretty damn well if you ask me. In this episode of the podcast, Panda shares her top five video games of 2008 [so far] with you. There are a couple of honorable mentions and a list that I only have a single problem with. Let's see if you can guess which game gives me the heebie geebies.

          Have a seat and enjoy: My Top 5: Video Games of 2008.

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          Finish What You Start...

          My Life As A King

          SquEnix has announced that Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King is now available via WiiWare, Nintendo’s new downloadable games service.

          In MLAAKyour mission is to rebuild a deserted kingdom and discover what it takes to rule a nation. MLAAK is a new sim game from SquEnix complete with a storyline that includes varying difficulty levels, 17 building types and a total of 38 dungeons. MLAAK allows players to raise "adventurers" [people] of the Clavat race, customizing them with the four available jobs, and build an inn to encourage other tribes (Lilty, Selkie, Yuke) to visit their kingdom.

          The game will set you back a cool 1,500 Wii Points but has a lot of add-on content that will be available for download later on. Expand your kingdom with extra dungeons, house bundle packs and new outfits to customize characters. Click the image on right to see the add-on breakdown.

          Rebuild a nation by building houses and shops, carefully considering the best interests of the citizens. If you do it right your nation regains its former glory and the "secrets of the land..." may be revealed. Enlist adventurers with varying levels, jobs and abilities to carry out dangerous missions in return for rewards. Be mindful of the passage of time, and plan each day accordingly in order to efficiently carry out construction efforts. If it's done right, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King may be just as addictive as Animal Crossing!

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          Finish What You Start...

          Pro-to-What-Ta?

          Ubisoft, announced that Protöthea is dropping in May for WiiWare here in the US. I'm not yet sure if I'm happy about that or not.

          Protöthea is a 3D top-down vertical scrolling shooter game where the player pilots a spaceship using the WiiMoteote and Nunchuk in tandem.
          "Ubisoft is excited to bring Protöthea exclusively to the platform and we feel it's a must-have WiiWare title,”
          shared James Regan, VP of third party operations, Ubisoft.

          The storyline isn't doesn't vary far from the standard scrolling shooters of your [and my] arcade days: destroy all comers. In Protöthea the evil thing you have to destroy is an asteroid called "Maqno 01,” and while you are at it, sabotage the plans of a political faction called "The Core.” Ubisoft promises that enemy AI is "...dynamic and will change based on the player's actions..." even going so far as to say that,
          "there are no predictable enemy paths and therefore always a different game play experience."
          Again, a claim that I will wait to see if it's genuine or just hopefully thinking.

          In the game players will have eight different air-to-air weapons and two different air-to-ground bombs at their disposal, and can attack however they choose. There will also be a special power that decelerates time, allowing players to easily avoid enemy fire while they are able to move rapidly and attack enemies. I love vertical scrolling shooters as they take me back, back in the day when 10 bucks worth of quarters could provide you with an entire afternoon's worth of entertainment. Let's hope the implementation of the WiiMote and Nunchuk help bring that nostalgic feeling back instead of being a painful reminder that I ain't in no arcade no more!

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          Finish What You Start...

          Resident Evil 4

          If you’re the type of gamer that likes to be on the edge of your seat from beginning to end, then Resident Evil 4 is the game for you.

          The game starts out several years later after the destruction of Raccoon City. The character you play is Leon S. Kennedy, an agent for the U.S. Government. Leon has been sent to a small village in Europe to rescue the Presidents kidnapped daughter Ashley Graham. The evil Saddler has infected mostly all the people in the villages, even Leon and Ashley. Thus, begins the search for an antidote in addition to the rescue of Ashley, and ultimately escaping this awful place.

          At the same time you’re fighting against the "Las Plagas". They are a variety of “things” infected by this virus that mumble and yell profanities in Spanish. Behind every door you open there is something lurking, just waiting to attack! The game has six adrenaline-rushing chapters and within each chapter is a vicious viral beast that must be taken out with patience and tact. As you move along the "Las Plagas" change and become more resilient to your attacks. Luckily there are save points along the way with a man who buys, sells, and upgrades weapons at a cost. This is the only source of comic relief you get in the game because the man sounds like an Australian who says “Got some rare things on sale stranger!” and “What are you buying?” and “What are you selling?” You’ve got to play the game to understand, when you hear him speak its like a pusher on the street trying to make a buck. At first you don’t know if you can trust him and you shoot him and he dies. There goes your chance to shop. Oops!

          The end ensues with an epic battle between Leon and Saddler; you must be patient and come up with a plan to destroy him. When you do beat the game it unlocks several mini games where you can play as different characters. It’s really cool because when it comes to an end you kind of miss the "Las Plagas" and blowing their heads off. So this game is also the gift that keeps on giving because just when you think its over you can go back and have a few more heart palpitations. With the Wii remote and nunchuck it actually feels like you are holding the guns (my favorite is the Magnum, gets the job done). The music is what keeps your heart racing and mind going a mile a minute as you’re trying to figure out how to solve the little riddles and along the way and come out a survivor.

          If you have surround sound I highly suggest you use it. Grab a buddy; you’re not going to want to be alone. Get some munchies and get ready for an exhilarating experience. Sometimes I actually thought I was going to have a panic attack. It was amazing! I could not shut the game off; I played it nonstop from 10am in the morning to about 11:45pm. When you play a game like that you know you got you’re moneys worth.

          Submitted by freeloader HOTmess

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          Finish What You Start...

          Touching Stories

          Here are some little bits of news that you might have missed:

          Headline: Panasonic Unveils Touch-Screen Camera

          Just don't touch the wrong side.

          Headline: Japanese Influenced TV@ART Kabé Hits the Market

          These are decorative flat panels designed to hide large screen TVs. Hold it a second. One reason anyone buys a large flat screen TV is to show it off -- not hide it! Bad timing.

          Headline: Aleratec Launches USB Flash Drive Duplicator

          With recordable CDs costing about a penny apiece and DVDs costing maybe a nickel in bulk, why would anyone want a mass Flash Drive duplicator?

          Headline: Razer Lachesis Gaming Mouse Features 4,000 DPI Sensitivity

          A 4,000 dpi computer pointing device might make a difference if it were a pen, but as a mouse? It's like drawing with a bar of fresh, new Ivory soap.

          Headline: Power Supply Purchasing Guide Published

          Look at it this way, it's cheaper than buying sleeping pills.

          Headline: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards Debuts On Wii

          Sixty-four? I didn't know Kirby was so old! But as demonstrated in the graphic here, the popular character is showing his age.

          Headline: Two New Distribution Amplifiers from Gefen Deliver Component Video to 1080P with Audio up to 300 Meters in Distance

          Ideal for those apartment buildings filled with deaf (or soon-to-be deaf) people.

          Headline: Share the Love This Valentines Day With Romeo And Juliet On Your Mobile Phone

          Excerpt: "Launched in time for Valentines Day, Romeo & Juliet will test your gaming skills at every level. You control Romeo in his quest to save Juliet, who has been imprisoned by her disapproving father in his castle."

          I bet William Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave about now.


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          Finish What You Start...

          New Podcast Wednesday?

          We're a little late on the draw this week, but it's for a good reason. After a few months of being under the weather, both NinjaSistah and Pandalicious need a little extra time off, so we're extending the time between podcasts just a tiny bit. Thus, you're getting the new program on a Wednesday (instead of the previous Monday), and the next one will be out a week from Monday (President's Day). So give this episode a listen.

          In this episode, the Sistahs are together once again, as Panda makes the long trip down to ESHington for Ninja's birthday. And all that noise in the background? It's ESH Mom making the bed, of course!

          The topics for this week's show: OMG Headsets and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

          We know how much you love reading the rejected titles and listening to the podcast to see how we came up with them. Here they are:

          After 20 Hours, Anything Would Hurt

          Ears Can Be Very Sexy

          Logitech Won't Be Able To Use This Endorsement

          Why Ask Why (Over and Over Again)

          Nintendo, WTF?

          I Sense a Giant "But" Coming

          I'm All About Kinks, But Not In My Games

          Say "Duck Hunt" Three Times Fast -- I Dare You

          Bowzer Wants Some Spaghetti and Meatballs

          Don't Forget To Remember


          So hunker down and enjoy episode 85: Pandalicious Likes the Mic In or Around Her Mouth. And we'll talk to you again in about 10 days.


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          Finish What You Start...

          Don't Forget About Guitar Hero 3

          Activision really would really appreciate it if you stopped being obsessed with RockBand long enough to remember that Guitar Hero 3 does, you know, still exist.

          So to remind you of that, from December 20th, you will be able to download an original rendition of "We Three Kings" for your Xb360 or PS3 by Steve Ouimette. Best part, they are absolutely free!

          If you are looking to expand your GH3 song list have no fear: a new track pack featuring songs by Linkin Park, The Used, and some group called Mastodonas well as single tracks "So Payaso" by Extremoduro, "Antisocial" by Trust, and "Ernten Was Wir Säen" by Die Fantastischen Vier.


          And if that wasn't enough, the "13 Days of Holly Rock" tournament for signed by former Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash GH3 gear and other prizes is still going on.

          Remember people, Activision still totally hearts you.

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          Finish What You Start...

          You Alert, Wii Alert

          I don't need to tell you that finding a Wii is nearly impossible. But it is only nearly impossible. I was able to get a Wii for Christmas -- and there may be time for you to get one, too.

          When I was faced with a similar dilemma last Christmas, to get both a Wii and a PS3, I took the path of least resistance: I shelled out for the game bundles offered by GameStop. It was the coward's way out, really. In order to get the boxes I wanted, I was willing to shell out a premium for a bunch of games and magazine subscriptions I didn't really want.

          I was determined to avoid that this year when trying to buy a Wii for my sister and her three grandchildren. I didn't want a bunch of leftover games and magazines when all I really wanted was a Wii for the suggested retail price of $249.

          Prospects were not good. Obtaining the game at a big box store like Best Buy meant developing a friend at UPS. I had no such friend. I wasn't the kind of person to mindlessly drive from store to store, and I sure wasn't the kind of person to stand in line overnight for a Saturday Morning Special.

          That left the internet. A quick search at the popular stores resulted in a big zero. Ebay was even more disappointing, with prices topping double what I would want to pay and no guarantee that the seller was legitimate.

          And then I found wiialerts.com. It was designed for a guy like me. You pick the websites you want it to shop and when a Wii shows up, they alert you by text message on your phone. Next, you go to wiialerts.com (or open an email they send you) and you get bounced directly to the purchasing page.

          Only it seemed I was always out of place when I got the text messages. I was just seconds too late on the first Wii alert I received. I was in the doctor's office on the second alert. I was in a cab on the third alert. I was asleep on the fourth and didn't see it until the next morning.

          But the planets aligned on the sixth alert -- I was directed to an Amazon.com page, where I could have purchased up to three Wii's. I got only one, though. I'm no Ebay speculator. One was all I needed. Ordered on a Friday, it arrived on Monday and I shipped it out to my sister and her grandkids a couple of days ago (I included a full complement of controllers and nunchuks).

          And the wiialerts.com site is good for more than just Wii's. The Rock Band special edition for the Xbox 360 (the one with guitar, mic and drums) is apparently rare. They track those, too. As well as Guitar Hero 3 with guitar for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360.

          They've even added custom alerts for whatever product you're looking for. And it's all absolutely free. Just sign up your email and cellphone for text messages. When you find what you want, buy it and come back to wiialerts.com to unsubscribe.

          I sure could have used wiialerts.com last year -- they could have saved me from reading all those dreadful issues of Game Informer magazine.


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          Finish What You Start...

          Online Content Is King

          I thought that I would take a look at what was going on in the realm of online on the next gen systems.

          I started with the PS3, headed over to the Wii, and finished out the night with the XB360. I'm exhausted.

          I started out with the PS3 because I have high hopes for the system this year. I am hoping that the kick ass, "you're going to have a life changing gaming experience..." game will be hitting the shelves of the local big box stores leaving me bereft of funds in the old wallet. I am hopeful that games like Echochrome, Little Big Planet, and Haze make me glad for dropping $600 bucks on the thing. Add to that Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Wii Fit on the Wii and Fable 2, Mass Effect, and Lost Odyssey on the XB360.

          But new "console exclusive" titles are not the most fair or balanced way to compare the level of enjoyment one can have on the various systems. The way I see it, the console with the most diverse online content will end up being the ultimate victor.

          When it comes to retro game titles, all three of the console systems are equally balanced in what they offer. Just about every game that becomes available on the Wii Virtual Console shortly thereafter becomes available on the Playstation Network and XBLive Marketplace. With title availability being equal, the deciding factor will be playability, and online extras. XBLive as well as some PS3 game titles offer direct player to player interaction while the Wii has [of yet] no direct PvP action. Both the XBox and PS3 offer other downloadable online content in the forms of video game demos, TV show episodes, and feature length films.

          We've seen it with the success of games like World of Warcraft and EverQuest, and we will see more of it going forward on the gaming front. It won't the amount of polygons thrust at the player that will determine the king of gaming but the social networking piece of gameplay that will establish the victor in the video game arena.


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          Finish What You Start...

          MMO Is (Animal) Crossing the Line

          British gaming magazine Edge has a cryptic line in its latest issue: "A Japanese source has confirmed to Edge that the upcoming Wii iteration of Animal Crossing is set to be a social networking MMO." If true, it means that we might not see hide nor hair of NinjaSistah for years to come.

          She spent a good six months in 2003 playing the original GameCube version of Animal Crossing. Break it out of its single-player mode on the Wii and it could cause avid players like NinjaSistah to quit their jobs and make a career of fishing and feng shui-ing their houses.

          With a rumored massively multiplayer online version of the game, the options for Animal Crossing addicts would grow exponentially. NinjaSistah would end up playing the game as she records her podcast, just like her sister Pandalicious has done with World of Warcraft.

          Now, don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against Animal Crossing. I still prefer its graphics to the over-the-top 3D effects of the similar but newer Viva Pinata.

          In fact, I've always wanted to create a Machinima version of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" using Animal Crossing. Unfortuately, there's no way the Kerouac estate would ever license those rights. But it's a dream of mine.


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          Nintendo's Got a Brand New Airbag

          As reports keep pouring in (and YouTube videos keep pouring out) about windows, walls and televisions being destroyed by flying Wii remotes, Nintendo has introduced a new solution guaranteed to keep personal property safe. Voila! The Nintendo Wii-mote with Airbags! (An artist's rendition can be seen on the left.)

          An accelerometer located inside the Wii-mote senses the speed at which the device is being waved. This action is compared with a heat sensor, which senses the loss of heat as the player loses his grip on the device. If the two actions occur simultaneously, the airbag action is triggered, causing more than a cubic meter of air to rapidly fill balloons on both sides of the device, allowing it to harmlessly bounce off most any household object it comes into contact with.

          Analysts see some drawbacks to the device, of course. The need for indestructible balloons and compressed air cause the device to weigh about 16 pounds, making it virtually impossible for anyone to hold and wave around for more than a few seconds without tiring. In addition, the new accelleration and heat sensors cause the unit to cost more than the Wii itself. Unfortunately, once exploded, the remote control cannot be used again, forcing customers to have to buy replacement units.

          And, even though the product has just been announced today, Nintendo says it already has a four-month backlog of orders. In the meantime, according to a Nintendo spokesman, Wii players using the original remote controls should "watch out."


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          New Podcast Day: Episode 68

          Monday brings with it yet another new episode of the ESH podcast. This episode I have to say, was kinda a weird one. Good, but weird.

          It's just the two sistahs Pandalicious and NinJaSistah holding it down for episode 68. Pandalicious tries to help NinJaSistah wrap her mind around the anime series Nerima Daikon Brothers, and I emphasize the word tries. Then on the flipside of the hour, NinJaSistah glosses over some of the news from the Tokyo Game Show and shares her first impressions of the PS3 title Heavenly Sword.

          Yeap, it's a fun, and weird hour this week, and if you don't believe me, just check out the rejected titles for this weeks episode:
          • Don't Take Her Shoes, She Needs the Height
          • It's Not The Size of Your URL, It's How You Use It
          • We Were Sharing Bodily Fluids LAST Week
          • Why Is The Radish Throbbing?
          • The Words, "Big Throbbing Daikon" Scare Me
          • The Most Forbidden Love: When Man Meets Panda
          • What She Did With a Fishcake: On The Next Maury
          • Sony made Me Go Dutch Then Tried To Rape Me
          • The PS3 Controller Was A Pain in the SIXAXIS
          • Hopefully, This Will Be the Last Sexually Oriented Wii Joke
          • The Inevitability of the Response to "What What?"
          • To Gank or To Frag? The Question Endures


          After reading that list of rejected titles, I'm sure you want to dive into this weeks episode. So, sit back, get your a cup of joe, and enjoy episode 68: Caffeine Plus Pandalicious Equals Bad Idea

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          Finish What You Start...

          That Ain't No Scooby Snack!!

          The Nintendo Wii has been extremely popular since it€™s release last year, but not just among humans. It seem as though man'€™s best friend has taken an interest in the system also, well at least in the Wii-mote, that is.

          When the Becknells'€™ family dog began coughing up blood, they decided to take him to the veterinarian. An x-ray showed a remote-like device in the dog'€™s stomach, which the family thought to be a television remote, but they were wrong. It turns out that the canine swallowed a Wii-mote!!

          "The Vet started massaging the dog's belly and it just came flying out of the dog," said owner Marie Becknell. "I knew what it was right away by the color and shape of it -- it was my son's video game remote. The dog had swallowed the boy's Nintendo Wii controller."

          Although the dog is doing well, the controller didn'€™t quite make. It had to be tossed. Mrs. Becknell said that as punishment, the boy is out of two weeks allowance to cover the cost to replace the controller. The dog declined to speak with us.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Good News/Bad News

          For those of you who are tired of reading bad news about everything, today we present the first in a series of Good News/Bad News stories. For those of you who just like good news, pay attention to the left side. For bad news junkies, enjoy the right side of the page.

          News item: You can't go Home -- at least not until next year. Sony announced that it's Home virtual world for the PS3 will not be available until Spring 2008. "We want this to be a worldwide service," said Sony CEO Kaz Hirai. "We want to make sure that we have a range of services which can be satisfactory to our users throughout the world... so we decided to delay the service’s launch date... Please be patient in this regard."

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          It leaves more time to design Mii's on your Nintendo Wii.

          It leaves more time for Sony to develop add-ons to Home, such as in-game ads, email and other things gamers don't really want.


          News item: Nintendo has announced that starting with the December issue, Nintendo Power Magazine will be published by Future US, the folks behind the Official Xbox Magazine, PC Gamer, and Mac|Life.

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS
          Future already publishes a Nintendo magazine in Britain. Chopping down treees, turning the wood into pulp, painting the pages and shipping the results by snail mail is so 1929. Wake up, people. Magazines are dead.

          News item: Kaz Hirai, CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment, told the assembled audience at the Tokyo Game Show that he considers the PlayStation 3 to be "a game machine."

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          After a year touting the wide and varied uses of the PS3, it was refreshing to hear someone at Sony admit that the primary purpose of the PS3 should be to play games.

          From Wired: But outside of announcing the DualShock 3 controller, Hirai made no announcements of new products -- certainly nothing that would by itself represent a change in PlayStation 3's fortunes in Japan, where it is being outsold about three-to-one by the Wii.


          News item: It doesn't look any different, but reports say it feels heavier. What is it? Why, the new DualShock 3, a new controller for the PS3 that brings back the force-feedback "rumble" functionality left out of the original controller.

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          It'll be available in the U.S. in Spring 2008, and will replace the Sixaxis controller in new PS3 boxes. The list of games that will take advantage of the new rumble features is a long one.

          Ya gotta buy a new %&*$@#! controller!


          News item: LucasArts has announced Krome Studios will release a Wii version of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed that will let you use the Wii-mote as a lightsaber.

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          Although some bloggers originally announced that the lightsaber action was available only in duel mode, in actuality you can use the Wii-mote as a lightsaber throughout the game.

          You're going to have to push buttons to work the lightsaber in the Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP and Nintendo DS versions. May the Thumb Doctor Be With You.


          News item: More anime is coming to Xbox Live. From Joystiq: "Beginning today (and continuing over the coming weeks) you'll be able to find titles from the Starz anime library like Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (Seasons 1 & 2), Street Fighter II V, Noein, Tokko, Virus and Astro Boy on the service."

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          Starz has a tremendous catalog of anime titles.

          I'm trying to code this item in a way that NinjaSistah doesn't see it. Between Xbox Live and iTunes, she won't even have to walk the three blocks to the local anime store to get her fill.


          News item: The E for All Show shoots itself in the foot by moving its 2008 date from October to the same weekend in August at the very popular Penny Arcade Expo.

          GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS

          This should put the final nail in the coffin of the badly managed spin-off of the old E3 Expo. It is a fitting end for E for All show host IDG, which killed the summer Mac Expo a few years ago by moving it from New York to Boston.

          This is all everyone is going to want to talk about in the run-up to the 2007 E for All event in October (which Sony and Microsoft have already vacated).


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          Finish What You Start...

          The Force Is Strong With This One

          It was bound to happen. Nay, it was destined since the dawn of the Wii for this moment to arrive. And now that it's been made official, I feel as though I am vindicated in my total geekfoolery for desiring it.

          What in the blooming, bloody, bleep am I talking about. I'm talking about being able to use the Wiimote as a lightsaber in a game. LucasArts announced today that in the upcoming Star Wars game: Star Wars: The Forced Unleased. Sure, the game is also going to be released on the XB-360 and PS3... but WiiSaber people. Need I say more?

          Really?

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          Finish What You Start...

          New Podcast Day: Episode 67

          Monday has once again sneaked up on us from behind with intentions of molesting your ears with a new episode of the ESH podcast.

          I don't want to ruin it for you by going into too great of detail about this show right now, but Pandalicious leads off the hour with hands on review of Mario Party 8 on the Wii, and MagicMystic steps up to the M1KT to share her thoughts on Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3. Then NinJa closes out the podcast episode talking about the anime series Moon Phase, and the new Ninja Gaiden 2 trailer.

          Oh yeah, we have a candy bitch. Congrats Ariel!!

          Now, I give you, the rejected podcast episode titles:


          • The Monkey's Part is the Part I Remember

          • It Explains Why You're Not Black Very Often

          • Watching Magic's Melons Rise

          • Is 1+1 a Trick Question?

          • Every Girl's Gotta Have Her Bling

          • The Sistahs Share Bodily Fluids With You

          • It's Got Anything You Could Possibly Want

          • I Haven't Been With Skeevy Perv, Doucebag

          • I Hate It When Itchy & Bitchy Happen

          • Grandpa's Boning the Blonde Vampire



          Catch a sample of Persona here.


          Then hit up this NinJa Trailer here



          In any case, enjoy episode 67: When you Can Play With More Than Just Yourself.

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          Finish What You Start...

          Attorney at What?

          Who's the guy in the suuuuuuuuuuuuit? Whooooooooooooo's the guy in my WIIIIIIIII?

          You guessed it! Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law is coming to the Wii [and PS2 and PSP] this November in the form of