Ring Ding Dong...Ring a ding..ding ding dong (Dr. Dre Reference)
Yo! Yo! Yo! Como Estan? Beeches. Pandalicious here to bring forth a new installment that should have hit y'allz earz last Thursday but brotha let me tell you what had happened...

You see what had happened was.....[insert flashback CG ripple effects] that I'm about as lazy as the next person. So last Thrusday I was out with my Crew we were gonna go steal some pants...BECAUSE I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY! (Unforgiveable Reference) I'm just playing. In all honesty though, I just plumb forgot! So Here Comes some old school flava with some old school thought!

I figured I would start with what I know best...The first real time I can remember liking video games wuz when I would engage in a hunt....a hunt...for ducks....no that doesn't mean I maliciously hunted down the all the casts of the Mighty Ducks, or any spin offs that may or may not occur. Though there were many of times were I had wish this gun controller had had the power to do so.

TO most of us Ataris and Nintendo's were the big deal. To most of us here in the United States rather [let me state that now] that is. One of the first real exposures to the FPS that i can remember...and by remember I mean being really little with the control and sitting faceplanted on the television. [Now that I think about that I'm sure all those early afternoons of playing like that most likely resulted in my now having to wear glasses...Oh Fuck....]
Though many of us played this cult classic in the comforts of our homes however is was also found on other platforms besides the NES. It was also on Famicom and Arcade.

Duck hunt was not a game that people woke up at 7am for and dashed to their local Walmart to get..in fact..Walmart did not exist then [Yes I know that for most of you, you cannot beleive that such evil did not rear it's satanistic side until it branched off from its primary store which came into existence in 1962..YES it's that OLD] It was a game that was given onto us to get a a response off of it. Thinking back now, who would have thought that letting people take fake guns and shoot ducks out of the sky to our trusty loving bloodhound...

If Nintendo had been in REM's music video for "Everybody Hurts" this is what we as a budding gaming nation would have saw.

(Scene: Children on bikes in slow motion riding by the glass window at the Nintendo headquarters. Inside the window a meeting of several official to talk about the questionable progress of "Duck Hunt"

Man in suit #1: Well surprisingly enough people actually like this game...
(thought bubbles appears) FUCK! I hope we don't have to deal with PETA again...

Man in suit#2:Who knew that people would actually enjoy a game based on a desire to kill
(thought bubble appears) Now if only we can redirect this towards something that we can continue to market and not worry about organizations putting their stamps of disapproval...like....bigger animals...animals with advance thought...oooo yes and will power...they should be intelligent...like humans...Oh My God Humans! That is brillant, I should head over to development right now..

Woman in suit#1 (looking at Man in suit#2's thought bubble:I'm sorry Man in suit#2 that is fucked up.
(thought bubbles appears but it's a little flash movie of herself kicking Man in suit#2 in the nuts. [Yes I went there, like you wouldn't]

Woman in suit#2: Well that might be true however we should do what is best for the progress of our company
(thought bubble appears) Oh I can't wait to spend all the money I'll make on these games on therapy for my future teenage son who will shoot up his school because he thought it would all reset the next day. [yes this one is also bad but...come on....]

Anyway you guys get my point. But why do I like this so much, so much that in fact decided that this would be my first piece.... Well ladies and gentlemen of webspace....I can not remember a time that I did not enjoy playing this game, whether it was just with Ninjahsistah before the ninjafication.... or with our father who is no longer with us. It presented a time of innocence and a good time with just the bare essentials...and isn't that what we want in our games....simple satisfaction?

You decide....

Finish What You Start...

So if you didn't catch what I was throwing in the title there, what follows the jump is totally Not Safe For Work, But Funny As Hell.

Take a twenty-three minute break, plug in your headphones and enjoy this youtubes!

Finish What You Start...

I only ask the question because Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People is available on the PC and Wii now, and you might want to pick it up.

I was a huge Homestarrunner.com fan a while back, but ESH, the day job, and web comics pretty much eat up all of my time. But Telltale Games is pretty proud of the new game and have a whole page devoted to it. Check it out here, and read more about the game below... here.

From the press release:

In the season premiere, Strong Bad's plans to beat the snot out of his rival Homestar Runner backfire, and he ends up with an unwanted houseguest cramping his style. Now he needs to get life back to normal, by any means possible. Comical point-and-click gameplay progresses the story, with side quests, mini games, achievements, and an "extended play" sandbox mode that unlocks after the story is completed rounding out the game experience.

New episodes can be downloaded from the Wii Shop Channel each month for 1000 Wii Points, and the game takes advantage of the WiiConnect24 technology by giving players the ability to send Strong Bad-themed emails to Wii friends directly from the Lappy. Photos taken using the in-game camera feature can be attached to emails, allowing players to show off Easter eggs uncovered or hidden costumes collected during the game.

"We are very excited," said a Videlectrix spokesperson from his pretend high-rise office, "Our last game topped out at 8 bits. We've heard this one might reach 9 or 10!"

Downloadable versions of each Strong Bad episode will also be available for the PC exclusively from Telltale's website, with preorders starting today at www.telltalegames.com/strongbad. Episodes can be purchased individually for $8.95 or as part of a five-episode subscription for $34.95. As with Telltale's popular Sam & Max series, customers who purchase the full series from Telltale will later be eligible to get a disc version for the cost of shipping and handling.

After the "Homestar Ruiner" premiere on August 11, storylines in the monthly episodes will run the gamut from political struggles to rock’n roll to the world of videogames (of course), building to the exciting season finale in December. Many fan favorite characters from Free Country USA will appear in each episode, along with special new super 8-bit style mini-games from Videlectrix.

I guess it's time to get some Wii Points.

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Get ready to use your wiimote to shoot down and hack through some zombie mallrats folks, Capcom today announced that Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop is in development for the Wii.

The new title will be based on the previous Dead Rising videogame, but not be a port of that title.

Capcom promises that Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop will

"delivers a more immersive, intuitive and interactive experience as players use the Wii Remote to shoot, slash and bludgeon their way through a zombie infested shopping mall, fighting for survival.

In the game, you are Frank West, an overly zealous freelance journalist on a hunt for the scoop of a lifetime. While tracking a juicy lead, he makes his way to the small suburban town of Willamette only to find that it has become overrun by zombies. Frank escapes to the local shopping mall, thinking it will be a bastion of safety but it turns out to be anything but. It will be a true struggle to survive the endless stream of enemies, but players will have full reign of a realistic shopping centre and its varied stores offering an endless supply of real and makeshift weapons to fight off the flesh-hungry mob. If Frank is running low on health he can pay a visit to one of the many restaurants or cafes for a meal in order to restore his energy and continue the fight.

The game is split into a series of individual cases, all of which Frank must complete in order to gain mission critical info that will allow him to figure out what the hell is going on with all the zombie bastards.

Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop’s infectious humor delivers some welcome relief from the incessant tide of zombies with players able to dress Frank up in a variety of comedic costumes and take on the undead hordes with a selection of improvised and sometimes highly ineffective weapons such as a toy sword or a football.

Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop is scheduled to hit store shelves this Winter.

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Who doesn't like new podcast episode Monday? Productive people that's who. Let us help you start your week off on the unproductive tip with this episode of our podcast.

Sans MagicMystic yet again, the sistah's stick to the gaming topic covering both the new and upcoming starting with Panda's take on the game Project Origin and Ninja sharing some of what she was able to take away from the assorted E3 coverage.

From talking about the survival horror game genre to specific experiences with titles like Manhunt and Silent Hill to the thriller-chiller types including the "I don't think NinJa is ever going to finish it" BioShock game. Ninja talks God of War 3, Animal Crossing: City Folk, Star Wars: Clone Wars, Portal 2, and Oneechanbura.

It's another one of our lively podcast episodes people, here are some of the titles we decided not to use to name it:

• Don't. Stop. Waitin' Fer RockBand 2, Yeah
• Who? Guess Who?
• Don't Sell Your Soul For Tic-Tacs
• The New Animal Crossing Lets Me Be Mii
• Kratos Makes Ninja's Gamer Boner Hard
• Kratos Was A Red-Headed Step Child
• Panda's Birthday Is Another 11 1/2 Months Away
• Killing Me Softly with Her Sword
• We Will. We Will...Flock Ewe
• Videogame Word of the Year: Booty
• E3 Didn't Want Me? Well, They're Not Invited to My Place Either
• We Have Nothing To Fear But the Sequel to Fear Itself
• This Guy's Full of Beans, and That Is a Bad Thing
• Don't Ever Attend a Zmbie Reunion
• and finally
• Brain Exlax, I Like that

If that hasn't told you everything you need to know about this week's podcast, then saddle up and give a listen to ESH podcast episode 106: Did I giggle That Outside Loud?

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I can remember when I was a kid, I took all of my comics, placed them in the plastic comic bags, and stapled them to my wall. The walls of my room were covered in comics. I was in heaven. Well if only I knew, then what I know now.

If I would have thought about doing what this person did to their walls, (and if my parents would let me) there would have definitely been some alterations. I'm seriously think of doing something like this to my office. This is frickin' awesome!

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The man in the photo here is a guy named Laurent Fischer. He's not remarkably unlike you or me. But when he puts his foot in his mouth, he manages to jam it as far in as he can.

You see, Fischer is the director of marketing for Nintendo's European division. And, as a director of marketing, he really ought to know better than to do what he did last week.

Nintendo users have been clamoring for more memory for the Wii -- an external hard drive would be awfully nice, especially as games take up more space. But, in a story for Edge, a gaming magazine, the editor's asked Fischer about the demand for more space:

As is always the case with Nintendo’s press events nowadays, the dirty word ‘casual’ was raised at its WiiWare preview, only to be dismissed in favor of a distinction between gamers and non-gamers. Playing these semantic games is fine, but when a pertinent question about the limited Wii system memory was raised, Laurent Fischer, managing director of marketing at NOE, easily slipped into talking about how “geeks and otaku” were the only people who would want this issue addressed.

Otaku, if you're not hip to the Japanese language, is a slang term that characterizes gamers as pimply, fat guys who spend all their time playing videogames in the basement of their parents' house. It's like inferring that Ninjasistah eats only watermelon and fried chicken. It's not a very nice word.

The story was posted on the Next Generation gaming website on Wednesday and the blogosphere has had a field day with Fischer's comment. On his blog, God of War creator David Jaffe said, "Ok, so if this is true, it's really, really sad. And not so much because Nintendo seems to be telling a chunk of its loyal fanbase to go fuck itself, but because it's just reeks of junior high school vibe immaturity bullshit."

In the meantime, Fischer has retracted his comment, with the following missive on the Videogaming247 website:

"I have huge respect for those who, like me, share a common passion for Nintendo and want to make it clear that I would never use and I didn't use this terminology in such a context or way to cause offence. I regret that this misunderstanding has created such offence and disappointment within the community."

Oh, I see. He was using the word "otaku" in the nicest way.

The upside of the whole thing? The geeks and otaku apparently are the winners, according to Wired:

Immediately following Fischer's statement, geeks and otaku around the world turned on their Wiis to find that the on-board storage had been magically quadrupled through the power of apology.

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We’ve heard it was coming and the rumors proved to be true. Get ready to “Rock Out”! We’ve finally got a look at Guitar for the Nintendo DS.

Guitar Hero has been the talk of the gaming industry for a while now. Whether on the PS2, PS3, Xbox 360, or Nintendo Wii, Guitar Hero has allowed people to switch the rhythm from their feet, a la Dance Dance Revolution, to their hands. It’s, “hands down” (see what I did there with word-play), the best rhythm-based game on the consoles and now it’s going portable.

Activision is bringing us Guitar Hero On Tour for the Nintendo DS and I couldn’t be more excited. Pictures of the attachment have been floating around the internet, but now we can actually see how’s it’s going to work. The following has got to be one of the funniest trailers I’ve ever seen, especially when the usage for the DS mic is demonstrated. This is definitely going to be a blast on the go.

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2K Sports announced that Don King Presents: Prizefighter, the first documentary-style boxing extravaganza, has officially gone gold and is ready for production on the XB360.

Brainchild of Venom Games [a 2K studio] Don King Presents: Prizefighter is said to try to find and focus on the balance between sports simulation and mystique inside and outside the boxing ring.

Don King Presents: Prizefighter puts the player in the role of an unknown boxer fighting his way out of obscurity and into the international spotlight while attempting to claim the world championship title. Players will have rigorous training regimens and have to fight the temptations of wealth and stardom. [My personal advice is to not end up like Mike Tyson]

The game sports a

"...live-action sports documentary style that features real-life legends and current stars from the world of boxing including Ken Norton, Larry Holmes, Andrew Golota, Joe Calzaghe and many others."

And for the dudes that like pixel vixens, both the Penthouse Pet of the Year Heather Vandeven and video vixen Bria Myles also star in the documentary and will try to distract you.

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but Don King Presents: Prizefighter

Prizefighter hits your local game-a-torium on June 10 for Xbox 360, and this fall for Wii.

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Ubisoft, announced that Protöthea is dropping in May for WiiWare here in the US. I'm not yet sure if I'm happy about that or not.

Protöthea is a 3D top-down vertical scrolling shooter game where the player pilots a spaceship using the WiiMoteote and Nunchuk in tandem.

"Ubisoft is excited to bring Protöthea exclusively to the platform and we feel it's a must-have WiiWare title,”

shared James Regan, VP of third party operations, Ubisoft.

The storyline isn't doesn't vary far from the standard scrolling shooters of your [and my] arcade days: destroy all comers. In Protöthea the evil thing you have to destroy is an asteroid called "Maqno 01,” and while you are at it, sabotage the plans of a political faction called "The Core.” Ubisoft promises that enemy AI is "...dynamic and will change based on the player's actions..." even going so far as to say that,

"there are no predictable enemy paths and therefore always a different game play experience."

Again, a claim that I will wait to see if it's genuine or just hopefully thinking.

In the game players will have eight different air-to-air weapons and two different air-to-ground bombs at their disposal, and can attack however they choose. There will also be a special power that decelerates time, allowing players to easily avoid enemy fire while they are able to move rapidly and attack enemies. I love vertical scrolling shooters as they take me back, back in the day when 10 bucks worth of quarters could provide you with an entire afternoon's worth of entertainment. Let's hope the implementation of the WiiMote and Nunchuk help bring that nostalgic feeling back instead of being a painful reminder that I ain't in no arcade no more!

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If you’re the type of gamer that likes to be on the edge of your seat from beginning to end, then Resident Evil 4 is the game for you.

The game starts out several years later after the destruction of Raccoon City. The character you play is Leon S. Kennedy, an agent for the U.S. Government. Leon has been sent to a small village in Europe to rescue the Presidents kidnapped daughter Ashley Graham. The evil Saddler has infected mostly all the people in the villages, even Leon and Ashley. Thus, begins the search for an antidote in addition to the rescue of Ashley, and ultimately escaping this awful place.

At the same time you’re fighting against the "Las Plagas". They are a variety of “things” infected by this virus that mumble and yell profanities in Spanish. Behind every door you open there is something lurking, just waiting to attack! The game has six adrenaline-rushing chapters and within each chapter is a vicious viral beast that must be taken out with patience and tact. As you move along the "Las Plagas" change and become more resilient to your attacks. Luckily there are save points along the way with a man who buys, sells, and upgrades weapons at a cost. This is the only source of comic relief you get in the game because the man sounds like an Australian who says “Got some rare things on sale stranger!” and “What are you buying?” and “What are you selling?” You’ve got to play the game to understand, when you hear him speak its like a pusher on the street trying to make a buck. At first you don’t know if you can trust him and you shoot him and he dies. There goes your chance to shop. Oops!

The end ensues with an epic battle between Leon and Saddler; you must be patient and come up with a plan to destroy him. When you do beat the game it unlocks several mini games where you can play as different characters. It’s really cool because when it comes to an end you kind of miss the "Las Plagas" and blowing their heads off. So this game is also the gift that keeps on giving because just when you think its over you can go back and have a few more heart palpitations. With the Wii remote and nunchuck it actually feels like you are holding the guns (my favorite is the Magnum, gets the job done). The music is what keeps your heart racing and mind going a mile a minute as you’re trying to figure out how to solve the little riddles and along the way and come out a survivor.

If you have surround sound I highly suggest you use it. Grab a buddy; you’re not going to want to be alone. Get some munchies and get ready for an exhilarating experience. Sometimes I actually thought I was going to have a panic attack. It was amazing! I could not shut the game off; I played it nonstop from 10am in the morning to about 11:45pm. When you play a game like that you know you got you’re moneys worth.

Submitted by freeloader HOTmess

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It's bad enough that Microsoft copies everything that Apple does and calls it its own, but now it appears that the company is trying to strike gold by Wii-ifying the Xbox.

Normally, I wouldn't consider MTV News to be a venerable source of hard-hitting journalism, but they did manage quite a scoop this week -- a sketch of a new Xbox controller that looks remarkably like a Wiimote.

I don't want to hear all that guff about Microsoft being the great innovators. They had a decent marketing department, but the real innovation was from companies like Apple and Sun. I could go on all day about Microsoft innovations that were either bought or stolen, like DOS (bought), Windows Media Player (stolen) and the Aero Glass interface (stolen).

In fact, I defy you to point out a Microsoft innovation that didn't appear earlier in Unix, Linux, the Amiga or the Macintosh. If you don't believe me, just Google the phrase "Microsoft steals."

Oh, and if you haven't seen it for a while, here's a representative scene from Pirates of Silicon Valley.

And now here's something that's gotta be really embarassing. It's from the January 2007 launch of Vista Office. Mike Sievert, the corporate vice president of Microsoft, shows off the online gaming capabilities of Vista, as he challenges his son, who is at home on his Xbox 360, playing (wait for it) UNO!

"And, of course, this is my Games Explorer. This is what Windows Vista does to make my gaming experience easier than it's ever been, because all of my games are here in one place where I can manage them the same way.

"I'm going to step into an upcoming release of Uno for Windows Vista, and I'm going to use my Xbox 360 controller plugged right into my Windows Vista machine, and I'm going to pull up a multiplayer game. Because what Uno for Windows Vista can do is something that games before have never been able to do, and that's cross-platform play. You're going to see the familiar Xbox 360 set of settings, and I'm going to use the Microsoft Live gaming platform to see if I can find my 10-year old son Jonathan at home in Seattle, Washington on his Xbox.

"Now, he goes by the alias, Ice Monkey, and you can see that he's online. That's good because I'm on stage, and this would be important at this point. (Laughter.) And I'm going to go ahead and select him and invite him to play this game of Uno with me.

"Now, you know, I travel quite a bit, and maybe I'm in a hotel room in Tokyo with my Windows Vista laptop, and it's really important that I'm able to have connections with my family when I'm gone. And this scenario is fantastic because it allows me to steal away a few minutes to play a game with Jonathan across thousands of miles, eight time zones, and two gaming platforms.

"Take a look at this as I press Start. We launch into a game together and in just a moment across all those times we'll be playing cross-platform game play.

"There it is. Now you need to applaud that, because I had to wait a minute. All right. (Applause.) And there it is, we're all in this game playing across the thousands of miles, me on my Windows Vista machine, and Jonathan on his Xbox."

The guy even has to beg for applause.

Sievert left Microsoft in February of this year. I guess you can take only so much UNO.

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Here are some little bits of news that you might have missed:

Headline: Panasonic Unveils Touch-Screen Camera

Just don't touch the wrong side.

Headline: Japanese Influenced TV@ART Kabé Hits the Market

These are decorative flat panels designed to hide large screen TVs. Hold it a second. One reason anyone buys a large flat screen TV is to show it off -- not hide it! Bad timing.

Headline: Aleratec Launches USB Flash Drive Duplicator

With recordable CDs costing about a penny apiece and DVDs costing maybe a nickel in bulk, why would anyone want a mass Flash Drive duplicator?

Headline: Razer Lachesis Gaming Mouse Features 4,000 DPI Sensitivity

A 4,000 dpi computer pointing device might make a difference if it were a pen, but as a mouse? It's like drawing with a bar of fresh, new Ivory soap.

Headline: Power Supply Purchasing Guide Published

Look at it this way, it's cheaper than buying sleeping pills.

Headline: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards Debuts On Wii

Sixty-four? I didn't know Kirby was so old! But as demonstrated in the graphic here, the popular character is showing his age.

Headline: Two New Distribution Amplifiers from Gefen Deliver Component Video to 1080P with Audio up to 300 Meters in Distance

Ideal for those apartment buildings filled with deaf (or soon-to-be deaf) people.

Headline: Share the Love This Valentines Day With Romeo And Juliet On Your Mobile Phone

Excerpt: "Launched in time for Valentines Day, Romeo & Juliet will test your gaming skills at every level. You control Romeo in his quest to save Juliet, who has been imprisoned by her disapproving father in his castle."

I bet William Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave about now.

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Squenix has a new RPG for the Nintendo DS dropping in April, and surprise surprise, it's not a Final Fantasy title.

Seriously, I'm not playing. Squenix can actually make a non-FF game, and on the DS to boot.

The game is called The World Ends With You and is from the creative minds behind Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts but is not Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts. Squenix wants you to know, trust, and believe this.

The World Ends With You is an action-RPG adventure set in modern-day Tokyo. Originally released in Japan as Subarashiki Kono Sekai, the games major influences are said to be based on the current trends in music, fashion, and design of Japan.

The story starts with the player taking over as Neku Sakuraba. Neku is a keep to myself, total non-social 15-year-old boy who one day wakes up to find himself in Shibuya [the shopping district of Tokyo, Japan] unexpectedly. Neku receives a text message warning him that he will cease to exist unless he accomplishes a certain mission. Without gaining a full grasp of what is going on, Neku proceeds through the streets of Shibuya carrying out the designated tasks. Most of the gameplay focuses on finding clues and battling the bad guys, which are called "Noise" in this game. Players can use Neku's mindreading abilities to hear people's thoughts by using the DS touch screen. The game feature lists includes:

• Distinctive modern art style created by a team of artists led by Tetsuya Nomura,
• Innovative Stride-Cross Battle System allows players to control two characters simultaneously, unleashing special attacks with the stylus
• The ability to collect a vast array of custom-designed pins, each with a powerful psychic ability that can be activated with the right touch or sound command
• Customize characters with Shibuya’s coolest fashions and exchange items with other players via Mingle Mode
• Experience an amazing soundtrack combining a fusion of musical influences from hip-hop to rock to electronica
• Battle with up to three friends in Tin Pin Slammer, an exciting and fast-paced mini-game, via local wireless connection.

If they weren't trying to pitch me so hard on how cool this game is, and how stylish it is, I might actually be interested in it. Well see what happens on April 22nd.

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I don't need to tell you that finding a Wii is nearly impossible. But it is only nearly impossible. I was able to get a Wii for Christmas -- and there may be time for you to get one, too.

When I was faced with a similar dilemma last Christmas, to get both a Wii and a PS3, I took the path of least resistance: I shelled out for the game bundles offered by GameStop. It was the coward's way out, really. In order to get the boxes I wanted, I was willing to shell out a premium for a bunch of games and magazine subscriptions I didn't really want.

I was determined to avoid that this year when trying to buy a Wii for my sister and her three grandchildren. I didn't want a bunch of leftover games and magazines when all I really wanted was a Wii for the suggested retail price of $249.

Prospects were not good. Obtaining the game at a big box store like Best Buy meant developing a friend at UPS. I had no such friend. I wasn't the kind of person to mindlessly drive from store to store, and I sure wasn't the kind of person to stand in line overnight for a Saturday Morning Special.

That left the internet. A quick search at the popular stores resulted in a big zero. Ebay was even more disappointing, with prices topping double what I would want to pay and no guarantee that the seller was legitimate.

And then I found wiialerts.com. It was designed for a guy like me. You pick the websites you want it to shop and when a Wii shows up, they alert you by text message on your phone. Next, you go to wiialerts.com (or open an email they send you) and you get bounced directly to the purchasing page.

Only it seemed I was always out of place when I got the text messages. I was just seconds too late on the first Wii alert I received. I was in the doctor's office on the second alert. I was in a cab on the third alert. I was asleep on the fourth and didn't see it until the next morning.

But the planets aligned on the sixth alert -- I was directed to an Amazon.com page, where I could have purchased up to three Wii's. I got only one, though. I'm no Ebay speculator. One was all I needed. Ordered on a Friday, it arrived on Monday and I shipped it out to my sister and her grandkids a couple of days ago (I included a full complement of controllers and nunchuks).

And the wiialerts.com site is good for more than just Wii's. The Rock Band special edition for the Xbox 360 (the one with guitar, mic and drums) is apparently rare. They track those, too. As well as Guitar Hero 3 with guitar for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360.

They've even added custom alerts for whatever product you're looking for. And it's all absolutely free. Just sign up your email and cellphone for text messages. When you find what you want, buy it and come back to wiialerts.com to unsubscribe.

I sure could have used wiialerts.com last year -- they could have saved me from reading all those dreadful issues of Game Informer magazine.

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Hey there folks, NinJaSistah here, back from the holiday vacation.

How y'all doin?

It's been a heckuva week. The day job got crazy hectic as it usually does around Consumer-mas time, and all massive wave of incoming PR lists that have claimed my email inbox home, and I got overwhelmed by all the new games that have come in.

If you've already listened to the podcast you know that the Harmonix game Rock Band has been getting a lot of my attention, attention that it rightly deserves. But now that I've talked about it, I don't want to be like Panda and make every other post I write to be about the awesomeness that is Rock Band So here is a list of upcoming things that I'm going to be writing about soon.

• Call of Duty 4
• Naruto: Rise of a NinJa
• Beautiful Katamari
• Super Mario Galaxy
• Crysis
• and
• Hellgate London

Thanks for sticking around through the break, we now resume your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.

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It's yet another clip show, but this time we're joined at the mic by videogaming superstar Mario. He adds his 2 cents worth as we present some of the best comments about videogaming from earlier episodes of the ESH podcast.

In this episode, we concentrate on the subjects the Sistahs love talking about most: videogame addition, the controversy about violence in games, what it's like to be a girl gamer and the platform wars. And, of course, the sistahs talk about Boonga-Boonga.

So join Mario and the ESH regulars as they present the best in videogame talk in Episode 72: Super Mario Brothers and Sistahs.

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British gaming magazine Edge has a cryptic line in its latest issue: "A Japanese source has confirmed to Edge that the upcoming Wii iteration of Animal Crossing is set to be a social networking MMO." If true, it means that we might not see hide nor hair of NinjaSistah for years to come.

She spent a good six months in 2003 playing the original GameCube version of Animal Crossing. Break it out of its single-player mode on the Wii and it could cause avid players like NinjaSistah to quit their jobs and make a career of fishing and feng shui-ing their houses.

With a rumored massively multiplayer online version of the game, the options for Animal Crossing addicts would grow exponentially. NinjaSistah would end up playing the game as she records her podcast, just like her sister Pandalicious has done with World of Warcraft.

Now, don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against Animal Crossing. I still prefer its graphics to the over-the-top 3D effects of the similar but newer Viva Pinata.

In fact, I've always wanted to create a Machinima version of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" using Animal Crossing. Unfortuately, there's no way the Kerouac estate would ever license those rights. But it's a dream of mine.

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As reports keep pouring in (and YouTube videos keep pouring out) about windows, walls and televisions being destroyed by flying Wii remotes, Nintendo has introduced a new solution guaranteed to keep personal property safe. Voila! The Nintendo Wii-mote with Airbags! (An artist's rendition can be seen on the left.)

An accelerometer located inside the Wii-mote senses the speed at which the device is being waved. This action is compared with a heat sensor, which senses the loss of heat as the player loses his grip on the device. If the two actions occur simultaneously, the airbag action is triggered, causing more than a cubic meter of air to rapidly fill balloons on both sides of the device, allowing it to harmlessly bounce off most any household object it comes into contact with.

Analysts see some drawbacks to the device, of course. The need for indestructible balloons and compressed air cause the device to weigh about 16 pounds, making it virtually impossible for anyone to hold and wave around for more than a few seconds without tiring. In addition, the new accelleration and heat sensors cause the unit to cost more than the Wii itself. Unfortunately, once exploded, the remote control cannot be used again, forcing customers to have to buy replacement units.

And, even though the product has just been announced today, Nintendo says it already has a four-month backlog of orders. In the meantime, according to a Nintendo spokesman, Wii players using the original remote controls should "watch out."

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Monday brings with it yet another new episode of the ESH podcast. This episode I have to say, was kinda a weird one. Good, but weird.

It's just the two sistahs Pandalicious and NinJaSistah holding it down for episode 68. Pandalicious tries to help NinJaSistah wrap her mind around the anime series Nerima Daikon Brothers, and I emphasize the word tries. Then on the flipside of the hour, NinJaSistah glosses over some of the news from the Tokyo Game Show and shares her first impressions of the PS3 title Heavenly Sword.

Yeap, it's a fun, and weird hour this week, and if you don't believe me, just check out the rejected titles for this weeks episode:

• Don't Take Her Shoes, She Needs the Height
• It's Not The Size of Your URL, It's How You Use It
• We Were Sharing Bodily Fluids LAST Week
• Why Is The Radish Throbbing?
• The Words, "Big Throbbing Daikon" Scare Me
• The Most Forbidden Love: When Man Meets Panda
• What She Did With a Fishcake: On The Next Maury
• Sony made Me Go Dutch Then Tried To Rape Me
• The PS3 Controller Was A Pain in the SIXAXIS
• Hopefully, This Will Be the Last Sexually Oriented Wii Joke
• The Inevitability of the Response to "What What?"
• To Gank or To Frag? The Question Endures

After reading that list of rejected titles, I'm sure you want to dive into this weeks episode. So, sit back, get your a cup of joe, and enjoy episode 68: Caffeine Plus Pandalicious Equals Bad Idea

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The Nintendo Wii has been extremely popular since it€™s release last year, but not just among humans. It seem as though man'€™s best friend has taken an interest in the system also, well at least in the Wii-mote, that is.

When the Becknells'€™ family dog began coughing up blood, they decided to take him to the veterinarian. An x-ray showed a remote-like device in the dog'€™s stomach, which the family thought to be a television remote, but they were wrong. It turns out that the canine swallowed a Wii-mote!!

"The Vet started massaging the dog's belly and it just came flying out of the dog," said owner Marie Becknell. "I knew what it was right away by the color and shape of it -- it was my son's video game remote. The dog had swallowed the boy's Nintendo Wii controller."

Although the dog is doing well, the controller didn'€™t quite make. It had to be tossed. Mrs. Becknell said that as punishment, the boy is out of two weeks allowance to cover the cost to replace the controller. The dog declined to speak with us.

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Who's the guy in the suuuuuuuuuuuuit? Whooooooooooooo's the guy in my WIIIIIIIII?

You guessed it! Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law is coming to the Wii [and PS2 and PSP] this November in the form of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law™...the video game. From the fine folks that bring you the Adult Swim and the creative folks over at Capcom comes what they call a

"unique style of gameplay... players will step into the shiny wingtips of Harvey Birdman, a third-rate superhero turned third-rate defense attorney charged with exonerating parodied classic cartoon characters.

In the game, players must guide Harvey through a series of oddball cases. In order to prove his client’s innocence, Harvey must peruse the scene of the crime, gather evidence, talk with other cartoon characters, occasionally have drinks with opposing council, and of course, tear holes – no matter how ridiculous – in the testimony provided by the witness for the prosecution.

What sounds cool about the game is that all of the original voice talent is on board including Peter MacNicol and Gary Cole, so I'm a happy chiquitita.

So, LOOK OUT!

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2K Games recently announced that they were going to be bringing Top Spin Tennis to the Wii next summer... get your best tennis elbow jokes excuses rehearsed now.

2K Sports, [the sports arm of Take-Two Interactive], and according to them Top Spin Tennis on for the Wii will feature

"...flawless tennis action and the most real life tennis experience to date for the Wii."

Top Spin Tennis will be available exclusively on the Wii in spring 2008.

The new Top Spin Tennis promises "pick-up-and-play action" making use of the Wiimote and nunchuku to matches the movements players would make on a real court. The Nunchuk controls the player and aim, while the Wiimote acts as your tennis racquet and determines the style of your shot... ranging from a top spin move [get it?] to a slice. The Wii Remote also allows players to control the power and the quality of the shot and to serve as well.

The game will feature multiple gameplay modes including singles, doubles, mixed/non-mixed matches, exhibition, tournament and more, and have four levels of difficulty and ten international venues. When the game ships it should feature at least dozen licensed tennis stars as well as ten original characters. Up to four players can play the game at a time, and to add to the group fun, there are a collection of party games included.

“We are excited to bring our popular Top Spin series to the Wii,” said Christoph Hartmann, President of 2K. “Given the Wii’s unique controllers and the fun family-oriented gameplay, Top Spin Tennis effectively bridges the gap between a sports and a party game.”

Top Spin Tennis will ship summer of 2008, and will be exclusive to the Wii.

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This one is a test folks. I'm going to do one of those live, updated blog thingies. We'll just have to see if blogger is up to the task or not.

I will be coming to you live from Nintendo E3 briefing this morning, giving you all the news you can use on the upcoming goodness to flow forth from camp Mario.

8:47am PDT : I got bumpkiss right now, the event doesn' jump off until 9am PDT, so stay tuned...

9am: the Wii video propaganda starts. A video montage of every Nintendo related pop culture reference floats by reminding me that the Wii roll out was and is pretty damn amazing. I mean, you still can't get your hands on one. Then Reggie hits the stage, and he is happy. Hey, he said it, not me.

According to Nintendo, the lion share of gamers are either in the 25+ demographic [32%] or 17 and under [47%]. Well duh Nintendo. Then they look at gender. They say for other consoles the ratio is 80% [male] to 20% [female] where as the break goes to 67% [male] to 33% [female]. Even bigger duh Nintendo. Women know what Wii want.

Reggie sound byte of the moment:

"Nintendo is not a fad. Nintendo is the future."

BELIEVE IT! Ok, he didn't say believe it, but he should have.

9:21 : Holy chit Batman! Wii Zapper. A housing for the Nunchuck and Wiimote, that will retial for $19.99 and will be packaged with software. The thing is so sexy it makes me wanna play Medal of Honor.

9:24 : Smash Bros. Brawl announced to launch on December 3rd. Can you pre-order it at GameStop yet?

9:29 :Metroid Prime 3: Corruption Looking at the graphics for the game, it's hard to believe that it's on the Wii. The game looks very next-gen. Samus' guns have never rendered so well.

9:32 : Reggie decides to address the "missing' Nintendo online capabilities. New channel, called Check Me Out. Vote on Mii's around the world, take some home, enter them in look-a-like contests. EA online sports games will support Wii Online. Online multiplayer. Madden 08 and FIFA 08 have been announced. and Guitar Hero III with a wireless Les Paul guitar controller. Mario Kart Wii Online in first quarter next year announced. Online. Multiplayer. Battle Mode. A custom Wii-Wheel for the game. And guess what? It's white! The Wii-eel will come packed with the MarioKart title.

9:43 : Iwata-san takes the stage. Iwata-san admits that his addiction to the cooking software title that is available in Japan has so affected his life, he is now taking more time to cook meals for his family because of it. Iwata-san states that the goal of Nintendo is to destroy the wall between hardcore and novice gamers.

"Games are for everyone."

He announces that Miyamoto-san will be hitting the stage to demo a title that should prove this fact.

9:55 : November 12th will be Super Mario Galaxy buy it day according to Reggie.

9:57 : Video montage time again... BECAUSE YOU GOTTA HAVE A MONTAGE!!

10:00 : Reggie announces WiiFit. Yes, lazy fat asses, you are going to have to work it out. Pushups, dancing, yoga, you will loose those unwanted pounds, or his name isn't Reggie Fils-Amie. Because a healthy gamer, is a happy gamer. Over 40 activities in the new WiiFit game. The WiiBalanceBoard is a wireless controller for the WiiFit game. It will be implemented in future titles as well. You will be able to track your progress in the game, so think of it as an extension of Wii Fitness test in Wii Sp